Awkward reflections :)

Ok so I was getting REALLY bored. So I decided to clean up some rubbish and make some room on the hard disk.
While doing this I came across a folder somewhere in the obscurities of the complex network of folders marked ‘Private’! Two things instantly struck me. First was of course my own stupidity on having named a folder Private and expected someone to not open it then. Secondly, on opening the folder, I felt a small amount of curiosity on going through the files marked with dates.

I have a habit, wherein I write various happenings in the day, my thoughts, emotions and ideas onto a word document and save it with the name of the file as the date. It’s not a discipline like writing a journal, just something I do randomly. I’d obviously not written anything in that folder for some time and had forgotten about it.

Anyways, as I started reading whatever was written in those files, I felt slightly funny, and slightly embarrassed. I’m sure this happens with a lot of people (or atleast that’s how I like to console myself) when they read what they’d written about their emotions (in particular) some time ago.

Certain instances when I’ve described my emotions / reactions, times when I’ve obviously tried to rationalize with myself and make sense out of my own actions by trying to sound very wise and calculative whereas they were simply impulses. They all brought a sort of an embarrassed smile when I read them now. Then you can’t help but think how prejudiced / irrational / impulsive / surprisingly right (rare) you can be. On reading those I felt sorry, proud, happy or angry with myself. Its really surprising but sometimes I felt like I was reading about some complete stranger. It made me rethink my current situation / behavior / relationships.