The Big Fat Indian Wedding

Celebrity weddings have always made big news. I have never understood people's obsession with the setups, the invitees, the dresses, the rings, which champagne was used, how many coloured flowers were there, what size were the biceps of the bodyguards and how many jobless mindless reporters were present to make it look like a fish market.

I mean face it people, you all may dream about it, but exactly 0.0000000034% of you will actually get to be a part of these weddings ... in any role whatsoever. And that's if you count the reporters as well. The rest of you will have those typical weddings where you try to be different by choosing that unique brownish red coloured cards and the taj mahal styling tents (WoW!). Yet exactly 67.8% of the people i know are just so stuck up on that Abhishek Bachchan - Aishwarya Rai wedding like it was theirs !!! Even my dad, who hardly watches anything substantial on television, was glued to the screen when the low down on the marriage was coming.

I can somewhat understand people's obsession with this couple ... after all u have a woman who probably appears in the wet dreams of most of the male population of this sex starved country and then this dude who's the son of the greatest actor who ever lived on the Indian silver screen (that's all the credit that i'm willing to give him so far... and oh well he acts O.K. so far). But what I just can't understand, is a half an hour special on the marriage ... on prime time television on the top Hindi news .. and yeah I'd like to repeat here ... NEWS channel !!!

The special covered the following events in very shallow detail :
- The groom's dad went to some famous temple to ask god for blessings for the new couple ... and he gave a wedding card .. yes I'd like to bold it again ... wedding card ... to God.
Makes you really wonder ... is god stupid ? I mean if he is the God then he must know that the wedding's going on and wouldn't really be needed to be invited for the wedding ! Quite clearly it's a very juvenile stunt for the cameras .. but hey ! who said common sense was in surplus nowadays !
- Who all the family is inviting and who all are the unluckiest people on the planet to have not been invited for the wedding. I mean Jeeez ! Was the girl who had cancer and then got raped at a hospital in Mumbai really so unimportant and real that they had to put this shit in the slot instead of her ? And It's obvious that the crippling electricity shortages, the farmers' suicides and the whole north east and eastern part of the country which is on the verge of a civil war is really not that consequential as compared to the fact that Shahrukh Khan is probably (mind it .. it's not confirmed .. it's just speculation) not invited for the wedding.
- Some 500 cops will be stationed around the venue.
Now that just infuriates me. I just think ... if these 500 cops could be actually patrolling a city ... and if they would actually be doing their job instead of siphoning money some way or the other to feed their already gargantuan bellies, then the crime in the city would be so much lesser. But then .. I'm just dreaming.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was the fact that this shit was coming on prime time national news. Damn ! I hope they kill some politician soon to get this crap off the air !

What's even worse .. i mean what takes the cake .. is that most people in the country of 1.2 billion people ... have nothing better to think about / talk about / watch / etc.

Fascinating !

I'm off to watch some movie now.