Till now I’d read a lot about racial discrimination. About apartheid. About the ‘blacks’. About the ‘dalits’. About the ‘untouchables’. About the great leaders who tried to fight it. About wars. About various genres of music being inspired in slave ghettos.
I’d seen movies like American History X showing a side of the white supremists. I’d read about some of them ‘punks’ here in Poland with their haircuts and swastika tattoos, etc.
But finally when I came face to face with racial discrimination … it was in the form of a sweet looking girl not much older than I am. We went to this restaurant to have dinner … 5 Indians. We sat and ordered whatever we could understand. We were just sitting and talking like any other human being in the place. Then this sweet looking girl comes up to us and asks us “Where are you from ?”.
We reply normally, “India”.
She asks “You’re a long way from home … how come ?”.
We tell her how we’re in Poland and that we’re just traveling in her city.
Then all a sudden ... the sweet smile changed into devilish grin. “Well you chose the wrong country to come !”
Puzzled, we ask, “why do you say that ?”
With contempt in her eyes she answers back, “ because you are not welcome here”
Still confused with why suddenly the world was shifting under our feet, we ask her, “why ?”
And that’s when it hits us when she says very matter of factly with a remorseless smile, “Because you’re brown”.
Whatever happened after that is not worth mentioning. To say the least after a little more conversation we just left the place … with our prides hurt.
The very next emotion that hits you after experiencing something like that is anger. Immense, uncontrollable, irrational and scorching anger. Your mind races, it replays that moment again and again in order to understand what just happened and seeks to answer why the hell … why ? I mean we had done nothing wrong. Beneath our Brown skin we were like just any other mortal sitting under that roof having a meal just like anyone else. And still we were not welcome. Still we had to gather the pieces of our shattered egos and prides and walk away. Irrational. And exactly that is the reason why we shouldn’t have. We try to fool ourselves to believe that we should’ve stayed there and ‘stood by our rights’ only to have been more brutally demeaned later on. Anger.
That night it was just so difficult to sleep. Lying in bed, the transition from a smile to those contemptuous eyes kept reappearing again and again. A big question mark kept knocking on my forehead with a hammer. Finally, somewhere in the midst of a million thoughts and feelings, I drifted away …
The next morning was much calmer. My brain more rational. I re-winded to time since we came here. I met all those nice people again. Normal people. I realized that this was just one bad incident. One in a million that I’d had so I shouldn’t be bothered. I remember reading about the little fraction of people who were like that.
And then I miss home. I remember not remembering a single incident in my country where some white or black or brown or small eyed or big nosed human being was told that he was not welcome. Sure we do harass people … probably for their money or probably some really horny Indian touches a white woman in a place where he shouldn’t have … but then they’re still all welcome. They’re still not told to leave. Sure we may have racial discrimination within our country …. But then that’s here as well ! I don’t understand for what reason the western countries call themselves great while belting out such humiliation to people on the other hand. Yes I am hurt. Still. I know it’ll get better. I know I’ll meet more people here who’ll gradually erase this bad memory. But the lesson still remains. The comparison will still stand tall with my country’s shadow on the others. My respect for my country still increases.
Of course one of my other brown friends also experienced a similar incident … but chuck it.
Thinking about it more rationally. You realize how insecure these people are. Someone’s not welcome in your house only when you consider him in some way a threat. Now whatever the reason may be … superstitious and irrational, religious, economical or whatever … these people just show their insecurity.
Anywayz … I’ve overturned this experience on its head as everything has a good side to it as well.
Moreover, as someone with a more progressive thinking I realize the kind of difference that exist and the cross cultural gaps that need bridging. One realized the kind of challenges facing the third rock from the sun from becoming a whole. One appreciates the efforts of people like Nelson Mandela and countless others in history for fighting something so arbit and irrational and yet so strong. One realizes the greatness about being brown.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Wait for me
A beautiful song by an Indian Band.
The website is a must visit and you can download their songs from there as well.
Here's a sampler ... wait for me
All around me I see light I see the darkness in full flight
All around me, when I touch your face You fly away like the butterflies
Into the night, into the light You never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine Please won't you wait for me
Surrounded in smoke and sound
In clouds of dust I go and drown
In the distance you run again
You scream out loud just turn around
And you wait for me For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me
Running in the sand, like a free bird
All that you wanted
And you're coming in to land
To fly away again
Into the sand
And you're drowning in the sea
You're alive and you're free
And from the mountains
You will fall but you won't crawl
Never again never again
You my moon
You kiss the waves goodbye
You show your same face to me
Crying, yet so free
And you wait for me
For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me
The website is a must visit and you can download their songs from there as well.
Here's a sampler ... wait for me
All around me I see light I see the darkness in full flight
All around me, when I touch your face You fly away like the butterflies
Into the night, into the light You never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine Please won't you wait for me
Surrounded in smoke and sound
In clouds of dust I go and drown
In the distance you run again
You scream out loud just turn around
And you wait for me For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me
Running in the sand, like a free bird
All that you wanted
And you're coming in to land
To fly away again
Into the sand
And you're drowning in the sea
You're alive and you're free
And from the mountains
You will fall but you won't crawl
Never again never again
You my moon
You kiss the waves goodbye
You show your same face to me
Crying, yet so free
And you wait for me
For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me
Friday, September 22, 2006
Flight of ecstacy
That's how my first flight was :)
not because of the service ... Turkish airlines service is really crappy and the cabin crew is pathetic. It was because of the thrill of being 10,400 m in the air and cruising at 840 km/h !!!
The take off is the best part of the whole experience. You're sitting nicely in your seat when all of a sudden there's this huge force and u start accelerating ... 50km/h ... 100 km/h ... 300 km/h ... and then just take off !! All of that just in some 10-15 seconds !!! Fast cars are a fantasy of the past now for me. It's the skies now that I wanna zoom in !
After climbing to around 10,000 meters it's just a completely different world up there. Walking around in some serene landscape with waterfalls and streams and lush greenery etc. etc. like they show in wall paintings is one thing. Zooming around in mammoth but so still as those wall sceneries is something completely different. It's a very humbling experience of sorts as well. Each cloud is a gigantic island in themselves ... yet they float so calmly over the skies.
I dunno about someone else ... but i thought they were very beautiful !
Here's some pictures as taken from my window :)
not because of the service ... Turkish airlines service is really crappy and the cabin crew is pathetic. It was because of the thrill of being 10,400 m in the air and cruising at 840 km/h !!!
The take off is the best part of the whole experience. You're sitting nicely in your seat when all of a sudden there's this huge force and u start accelerating ... 50km/h ... 100 km/h ... 300 km/h ... and then just take off !! All of that just in some 10-15 seconds !!! Fast cars are a fantasy of the past now for me. It's the skies now that I wanna zoom in !
After climbing to around 10,000 meters it's just a completely different world up there. Walking around in some serene landscape with waterfalls and streams and lush greenery etc. etc. like they show in wall paintings is one thing. Zooming around in mammoth but so still as those wall sceneries is something completely different. It's a very humbling experience of sorts as well. Each cloud is a gigantic island in themselves ... yet they float so calmly over the skies.
I dunno about someone else ... but i thought they were very beautiful !
Here's some pictures as taken from my window :)
feels like you can just walk on them :)
flying into the sunset
Thursday, September 14, 2006
My new phone :)
Due to the sad demise of my previous, Nokia 1100, I have just purchased a new Motorola L6. The 1100 was washed and rinsed thoroughly in the washing machine as someone forgot to take it out of the pocket before putting the shorts in for washing.
But thanx to that .. I have this beauty now :)
But thanx to that .. I have this beauty now :)
Sunday, September 03, 2006
T minus 16 days and counting
Counting very fast at that !
Now that I've come back home from college, I feel as clueless as Alice in Wonderland.
I have this danting feeling that I have to do a lot .. but just don't know what !
I know I'm leaving in 16 days ... But I haven't even made a single checklist till now. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem if I was just going down to Ooty. But this is Poland ! And I'm staying there for 90 days exactly ! I think I should start making atleast a rough list rather than sitting on the net and typing away arbit stuff... But then that wouldn't be even half the fun :)
I have finally decided to not travel to the schengen countries. There are a few reasons for it but money being the main one. I just don't wanna spend more than 50k travelling for just 10 days in Europe. For my mind it just doesn't make sense that I'm taking so much money from my folks just for travelling and that too just 10 days. I think I can make that trip later as well.
But that doesn't mean that I won't travel at all ! Surely I'll travel to every nook and corner that Poland has to offer. And then I'll go skiing and mountain climbing :)
I really don't know the kind of people that are coming with me to Poland. One seems spaced out, one seems too serious and one I just don't know. I'm sure they're all pretty nice people ... But I just don't know. And they're nice doesn't mean we'll gel.
All said and done, there's one reason that's really holding me back from going. I just don't feel like leaving when some people are here. (It's crappy)
But nonetheless, the countdown has begun ... :)
I think i'll start making a list now :)
Now that I've come back home from college, I feel as clueless as Alice in Wonderland.
I have this danting feeling that I have to do a lot .. but just don't know what !
I know I'm leaving in 16 days ... But I haven't even made a single checklist till now. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem if I was just going down to Ooty. But this is Poland ! And I'm staying there for 90 days exactly ! I think I should start making atleast a rough list rather than sitting on the net and typing away arbit stuff... But then that wouldn't be even half the fun :)
I have finally decided to not travel to the schengen countries. There are a few reasons for it but money being the main one. I just don't wanna spend more than 50k travelling for just 10 days in Europe. For my mind it just doesn't make sense that I'm taking so much money from my folks just for travelling and that too just 10 days. I think I can make that trip later as well.
But that doesn't mean that I won't travel at all ! Surely I'll travel to every nook and corner that Poland has to offer. And then I'll go skiing and mountain climbing :)
I really don't know the kind of people that are coming with me to Poland. One seems spaced out, one seems too serious and one I just don't know. I'm sure they're all pretty nice people ... But I just don't know. And they're nice doesn't mean we'll gel.
All said and done, there's one reason that's really holding me back from going. I just don't feel like leaving when some people are here. (It's crappy)
But nonetheless, the countdown has begun ... :)
I think i'll start making a list now :)
End of a term – beginning of an era
I’m not trying to sound very dramatic and profound here. I’m just stating what I feel.
The fourth term ended two days ago. My second… fourth term. But it was more than just that for me. So much has happened now that it’s just impossible to put in here and merely undermine it. Beginning of an era would just be mildly putting it.
I don’t wanna count my chickens before they hatch so I won’t say anymore. But all I wanna say is that I’m glad that I did it again.
The fourth term ended two days ago. My second… fourth term. But it was more than just that for me. So much has happened now that it’s just impossible to put in here and merely undermine it. Beginning of an era would just be mildly putting it.
I don’t wanna count my chickens before they hatch so I won’t say anymore. But all I wanna say is that I’m glad that I did it again.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
When I just couldn't sleep ...
Tonight (or last night) was the first night after coming to MDI when I just couldn't sleep !
Mainly 3 things on my mind...
1. Work
2. RA
3. (has to remain undisclosed due to the varied readership of this blog)
First I just kept planning what all I have to do over the next few days. How I have to plan my work. blah blah blah
Then I just couldn't get those tanks and those damn ore trucks out of my mind. That's the problem with playing an RTS ... there are so many possibilites that u just keep exploring ... just keep planning engineer rushes or tanya attacks or just keep building TANKS !!!
Ofcourse then there was this bit of anxiety .. uncertainity.
Anywayz the point is that I just don't like this. I love sleeping nowadays. Anything that keeps me away from that unnecassarily is simply not welcome ! But so twisted is the human mind that it just keeps on ticking even when u are screaming at it to stop.
Sometimes I seriously wish I could take my brain out of my head and keep it in the cupboard while I go to sleep ... But then I wudn't get those nice dreams ... :)
(life's always a trade off ... just like RA ;))
Mainly 3 things on my mind...
1. Work
2. RA
3. (has to remain undisclosed due to the varied readership of this blog)
First I just kept planning what all I have to do over the next few days. How I have to plan my work. blah blah blah
Then I just couldn't get those tanks and those damn ore trucks out of my mind. That's the problem with playing an RTS ... there are so many possibilites that u just keep exploring ... just keep planning engineer rushes or tanya attacks or just keep building TANKS !!!
Ofcourse then there was this bit of anxiety .. uncertainity.
Anywayz the point is that I just don't like this. I love sleeping nowadays. Anything that keeps me away from that unnecassarily is simply not welcome ! But so twisted is the human mind that it just keeps on ticking even when u are screaming at it to stop.
Sometimes I seriously wish I could take my brain out of my head and keep it in the cupboard while I go to sleep ... But then I wudn't get those nice dreams ... :)
(life's always a trade off ... just like RA ;))
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
Lollakutti was drumming her fingers restlessly on the table. She looked around nervously for a hint but couldn't get even a wiff of what it was. A few around her were as nervous and clueless as she was. Finally after a few minutes of wait the guy behind her kicked her seat just slightly. Then with exact precision a sheet was passed on to her containing all the answers to calculating the COCOMO of the case given. This was a mid term exam. Ofcourse the invigilator didn't see a thing. But then he wasn't looking was he ?
Halfway through our mid terms we received a mail from our elected representatives saying that someone from the batch had gone and complained to tyrant that there was rampant cheating going on in the exams and they would be helpless now incase anyone got caught.
This brings a few very interesting points to light.
Firstly ... It goes on to reflect the unity in the batch. The future managers of the country ... or let's be a bit modest .... tomorrow's multinational's middle managers are definitely gonna be a backstabbing lot ! (hopefully only some :))
Secondly .... It highlights the benefits of having relative grading. I mean when you know what grade you get is largely gonna depend upon what everybody else gets (why ???), ofcourse you're gonna try to cheat and write atleast what everybody else is writing in the exam. And it is a logical conclusion that someone who's not cheating would not appreciate other people who didn't study as much getting ahead or equal to him by just making some sly efforts in the exam.
Thirdly .... This is human nature ! Unlike our tyrants, I don't quite live in a utopian society so I realize that wherever there are 40 odd students in the room writing an exam, there's bound to be some who will feel like sharing their information with someone and other's who'd gratefully accept it. There's cheating even withouh RG ... It is highly unlikely that there wouldn't be some with it !
Lastly ... it shows how tyranny justs gets worse ! Instead of realizing that the grading system is cheating-inducing, that the invigilators are sleeping and at times even allowing rampant cheating in the exam, that if 40 year old NMP students cheat in exams then it is brilliantly stupid to expect 20 somethings not to, that basically there should be better methods of evaluation ... the tyrants simply put stricter punishments and reexams.
As for me , I didn't cheat in the exams. I'm sure lolakutti got the same answer as me and would end up getting the same marks and grade as well. I think it's just about preperation. If I hadn't prepared .. then probably I would've been tempted to cheat as well. But even then I would've thought ... Is it worth it ???
"I was thrown ot of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me " - Woody Allen
Halfway through our mid terms we received a mail from our elected representatives saying that someone from the batch had gone and complained to tyrant that there was rampant cheating going on in the exams and they would be helpless now incase anyone got caught.
This brings a few very interesting points to light.
Firstly ... It goes on to reflect the unity in the batch. The future managers of the country ... or let's be a bit modest .... tomorrow's multinational's middle managers are definitely gonna be a backstabbing lot ! (hopefully only some :))
Secondly .... It highlights the benefits of having relative grading. I mean when you know what grade you get is largely gonna depend upon what everybody else gets (why ???), ofcourse you're gonna try to cheat and write atleast what everybody else is writing in the exam. And it is a logical conclusion that someone who's not cheating would not appreciate other people who didn't study as much getting ahead or equal to him by just making some sly efforts in the exam.
Thirdly .... This is human nature ! Unlike our tyrants, I don't quite live in a utopian society so I realize that wherever there are 40 odd students in the room writing an exam, there's bound to be some who will feel like sharing their information with someone and other's who'd gratefully accept it. There's cheating even withouh RG ... It is highly unlikely that there wouldn't be some with it !
Lastly ... it shows how tyranny justs gets worse ! Instead of realizing that the grading system is cheating-inducing, that the invigilators are sleeping and at times even allowing rampant cheating in the exam, that if 40 year old NMP students cheat in exams then it is brilliantly stupid to expect 20 somethings not to, that basically there should be better methods of evaluation ... the tyrants simply put stricter punishments and reexams.
As for me , I didn't cheat in the exams. I'm sure lolakutti got the same answer as me and would end up getting the same marks and grade as well. I think it's just about preperation. If I hadn't prepared .. then probably I would've been tempted to cheat as well. But even then I would've thought ... Is it worth it ???
"I was thrown ot of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me " - Woody Allen
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Red Alert !
I'm a sucker for computer games.
From the days of those little hand-held pixelled tetris pads came ... I've been jabbing my fingers at various game consoles for all I can remember.
Arkanoid, Pacman, bomberman ... then came prince of persia ... and then finally ... Wolfenstein !!! It was a small step for man but a giant leap for MeKind ! The thrill of shooting rockets and all kinds of out of this world weapons at other was simply too good to resist. Since then the waepons have just got more destructive. The graphics have just gone better. The blood and guts have gone more detailed. The aggression has just multiplied ... the violence has just increased.
And I love it !! :)
Multiplayer gaming brought on another realm ... killing other humans in virtual reality ! I don't know how people feel when they kill someone in reality. But killing someone in a first person shooter gives you an amazing amount of satisfaction. So there was a spate of 3D games getting closer and closer to reality like Doom, Quake, Unreal Tournament and the works.
Finally came the combination of skill, graphics, tactics and everything else you could dream of ... Counter Strike !
But now ofcourse my gaming instincts have pretty much taken the back seat. Priorities have changed quite a lot.. But then came an offer which I simply couldn't refuse. Application of Game Theory to business.
I won't go into the details but the jist is simply this ... learning game theory through computer strategy games. Therefore came red alert.
I've always been averse to strategy games. I considered too slow for my taste. But after trying out red alert I can testify that this is not so. Strategy games can get pretty fast. And they require a lot more thinking that simple predictive shooting. You have to constantly analyze the situation and plan your course of action. It's all about strategy :). And best of all ... you can be extrememely creative in this.
I would say that I've pretty much fallen in love with the game. So for a while .. whenenver we can .... RedAlertenge !
From the days of those little hand-held pixelled tetris pads came ... I've been jabbing my fingers at various game consoles for all I can remember.
Arkanoid, Pacman, bomberman ... then came prince of persia ... and then finally ... Wolfenstein !!! It was a small step for man but a giant leap for MeKind ! The thrill of shooting rockets and all kinds of out of this world weapons at other was simply too good to resist. Since then the waepons have just got more destructive. The graphics have just gone better. The blood and guts have gone more detailed. The aggression has just multiplied ... the violence has just increased.
And I love it !! :)
Multiplayer gaming brought on another realm ... killing other humans in virtual reality ! I don't know how people feel when they kill someone in reality. But killing someone in a first person shooter gives you an amazing amount of satisfaction. So there was a spate of 3D games getting closer and closer to reality like Doom, Quake, Unreal Tournament and the works.
Finally came the combination of skill, graphics, tactics and everything else you could dream of ... Counter Strike !
But now ofcourse my gaming instincts have pretty much taken the back seat. Priorities have changed quite a lot.. But then came an offer which I simply couldn't refuse. Application of Game Theory to business.
I won't go into the details but the jist is simply this ... learning game theory through computer strategy games. Therefore came red alert.
I've always been averse to strategy games. I considered too slow for my taste. But after trying out red alert I can testify that this is not so. Strategy games can get pretty fast. And they require a lot more thinking that simple predictive shooting. You have to constantly analyze the situation and plan your course of action. It's all about strategy :). And best of all ... you can be extrememely creative in this.
I would say that I've pretty much fallen in love with the game. So for a while .. whenenver we can .... RedAlertenge !
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Remember when you were young ...
One of the very few guys that I've ever respected in life ...
Someone so poetic and thoughtful as his music just passed away. Probably just another statistic for some ... but death of a legend for me ...
I'll just reproduce the song that Pink Floyd (another legend) wrote for him after he was asked to leave the band due to excessive intoxication and antics.
A beautiful song ... Shine on you Crazy Diamond ...
Remember when you were young,
you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Nowthere's a look in your eyes,
like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger,
you legend, you martyr,and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon,
you cried for themoon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened byshadows at night,
and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver,
you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner,and shine!
Nobody knows where you are,
how near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow
of yesterday's triumph,
and sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child,
you winner and loser,
come on you miner for truth and delusion,and shine!
You'll always shine on .. syd
Someone so poetic and thoughtful as his music just passed away. Probably just another statistic for some ... but death of a legend for me ...
I'll just reproduce the song that Pink Floyd (another legend) wrote for him after he was asked to leave the band due to excessive intoxication and antics.
A beautiful song ... Shine on you Crazy Diamond ...
Remember when you were young,
you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Nowthere's a look in your eyes,
like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger,
you legend, you martyr,and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon,
you cried for themoon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened byshadows at night,
and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver,
you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner,and shine!
Nobody knows where you are,
how near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow
of yesterday's triumph,
and sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child,
you winner and loser,
come on you miner for truth and delusion,and shine!
You'll always shine on .. syd
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Holy Wars !
Brother will kill brother
Spilling blood across the land
Killing for religion
Something I don’t understand …
A high powered song by Megadeth … captures clearly my bafflement and anger.
For me … religion is the single most evil prevalent in the world today. Moreover, if I really had to point a finger at someone, I’d do that in every possible way at them goat-slaughtering prophets. Call me narrow minded, illiterate, dumb or even psychotic for committing the crime of stereotyping … I don’t care! When it comes to imagining evil I see a huge army of devils masquerading as religious crusaders and I see Islamism riding on horses and leading the pack of doom and destruction.
Probably another mumbaiker who lost a loved one in bomb blasts or a mother who lost her son in 9-11 will understand how I feel. Others, I know, will simply ridicule. I just want to highlight one point here … if anybody would do a google search on terrorism and terrorist attacks (which is a global crises now ... bigger than even global warming) … the word jehad would come written all over on the screen. If you’d search on most wanted or feared terrorists, islam would be the theme which would emerge as the most common amongst them.
Now this is not a hate-passage on islam or anything like that. It’s not like I hate them. I perfectly understand that they are humans just like me. It’s not a particular religion that I hate at all. It’s the whole concept of religion as it exists today that I detest. Jehadis , I believe, are merely the most gullible and dumb humans of all. Religion has been the tool used to disillusion, gather and move the masses for other’s vested interests ever since the dark ages. It has infact tainted god or His image atleast in my eyes (if it all …. But then that’s another story). The crusades are the earliest example I can think of where power hungry kings used to send armies of hypnotized devouts to kill each other so they could expand the lines on their maps. Even now the main motive remains the same, it’s just that the weapons have gotten more destructive and the aftermath uglier.
It’s like a drug … this religion. And a very lethal one at that. It first shows you flowers and happiness and the promised land. You get attracted towards it like moths towards a scorching bulb. Soon you are hypnotized and are willing to do anything in the name of God as presented by the man standing on the altar swinging a book. Even kill. Thankfully in most urban areas people have found enough material distractions to make them feel happy that’s why many have grown disenchanted with the religion disease (point is debatable but definitely not shun able).
I don’t want to get into the debate on God HisSelf right now. Although I’d say this much that it is a beautiful concept. The path to nirvana is actually quite true as is preached in the name of god under religion. But the name of God is being grossly misused.
I don’t know how much sense I’ve been able to make out here. That’s because emotions are mostly leading my fingers rather than structured thoughts. In the end I’d just like to say that I think that the onus is upon the more sensible islamists themselves. Today they face the danger of being stereotyped and branded overall as extremists. This could especially spell disaster for the millions of innocent islamists that live as minorities in non Islamic countries. It is upto these left brain oriented people to stop their own from this mass terror and destruction.
As for me … sometimes when I see some conspicous fellow wearing a small white cap … a thought does cross my mind … it goes … does he respect my country ? does he respect my right to live ? is he a human first and then a muslim or the other way ?
Spilling blood across the land
Killing for religion
Something I don’t understand …
A high powered song by Megadeth … captures clearly my bafflement and anger.
For me … religion is the single most evil prevalent in the world today. Moreover, if I really had to point a finger at someone, I’d do that in every possible way at them goat-slaughtering prophets. Call me narrow minded, illiterate, dumb or even psychotic for committing the crime of stereotyping … I don’t care! When it comes to imagining evil I see a huge army of devils masquerading as religious crusaders and I see Islamism riding on horses and leading the pack of doom and destruction.
Probably another mumbaiker who lost a loved one in bomb blasts or a mother who lost her son in 9-11 will understand how I feel. Others, I know, will simply ridicule. I just want to highlight one point here … if anybody would do a google search on terrorism and terrorist attacks (which is a global crises now ... bigger than even global warming) … the word jehad would come written all over on the screen. If you’d search on most wanted or feared terrorists, islam would be the theme which would emerge as the most common amongst them.
Now this is not a hate-passage on islam or anything like that. It’s not like I hate them. I perfectly understand that they are humans just like me. It’s not a particular religion that I hate at all. It’s the whole concept of religion as it exists today that I detest. Jehadis , I believe, are merely the most gullible and dumb humans of all. Religion has been the tool used to disillusion, gather and move the masses for other’s vested interests ever since the dark ages. It has infact tainted god or His image atleast in my eyes (if it all …. But then that’s another story). The crusades are the earliest example I can think of where power hungry kings used to send armies of hypnotized devouts to kill each other so they could expand the lines on their maps. Even now the main motive remains the same, it’s just that the weapons have gotten more destructive and the aftermath uglier.
It’s like a drug … this religion. And a very lethal one at that. It first shows you flowers and happiness and the promised land. You get attracted towards it like moths towards a scorching bulb. Soon you are hypnotized and are willing to do anything in the name of God as presented by the man standing on the altar swinging a book. Even kill. Thankfully in most urban areas people have found enough material distractions to make them feel happy that’s why many have grown disenchanted with the religion disease (point is debatable but definitely not shun able).
I don’t want to get into the debate on God HisSelf right now. Although I’d say this much that it is a beautiful concept. The path to nirvana is actually quite true as is preached in the name of god under religion. But the name of God is being grossly misused.
I don’t know how much sense I’ve been able to make out here. That’s because emotions are mostly leading my fingers rather than structured thoughts. In the end I’d just like to say that I think that the onus is upon the more sensible islamists themselves. Today they face the danger of being stereotyped and branded overall as extremists. This could especially spell disaster for the millions of innocent islamists that live as minorities in non Islamic countries. It is upto these left brain oriented people to stop their own from this mass terror and destruction.
As for me … sometimes when I see some conspicous fellow wearing a small white cap … a thought does cross my mind … it goes … does he respect my country ? does he respect my right to live ? is he a human first and then a muslim or the other way ?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Killing in the name
Killing in the name of
Some of those that were forces … are the same that burnt crosses
Once again Mumbai was shaken by multiple – well planned blasts.
Once again the resilient Mumbai-ites came together in the name of humanity.
Once again life has returned back to normal immediately the next day.
Once again there will be another series of blasts … people will die … world leaders will condemn … families will be scarred … terrorism will be victorious !
I completely agree with, and appreciate, the resilience and spirit of Mumbai so to speak (although the same can be extended to the whole country). But somehow I don’t agree with the follow up.
It has become some sort of a cycle … there’s a terrorist attack … people die … there’s worldwide hue and cry … some people are arrested afterwards … people feel safer … and then it happens again. The only thing that changes is that the terrorist organizations become stronger and so do the intensity of the attacks.
I simply don’t understand how these disgraces on humanity can actually manage to survive and flourish in face of the whole ‘worldwide war against terrorism’ going on. Somewhere down the line get a feeling maybe it’s just propaganda. There’s state sponsored / organized terrorism (or genocide) happening everywhere in the world, it’s just that some are elevated to the status of ‘fight for democracy’ while some get the branding of terrorism.
Those who die are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
I don’t think I need to list the atrocities people have gone through the world over in the name of democracy. Crimes are being committed against humanity the world over everyday by countries and they are not being crucified ! There’s a stone pelt here and there but jets still drop bombs on civilians. This is what I think that’s unfair. Why should one group be allowed to massacre while the other is condemned ? Why should some people who die be victims for while others, equally innocent, be called casualties ?
Point is that there’s propaganda everywhere. Either in the name of religion or in the name of democracy or in the name of territory. Humans are basically plain stupid. They fall for one while they denounce the other. What they don’t see through is the vested interests. What they fail to realize is the absurdity of the methods which are the same in all. What they don’t feel, is the pain of another human being in each of these.
Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me
I just wish people had enough power to stand up for what’s wrong and enough sense to see what’s right. I just wish they would stop being hypocritical and accusing only sheep of having a herd mentality.
I think weapons are simply useless. They’re the worst creation of mankind. They’re like mankind’s Frankenstein. I think that as soon as possible, we should do away with them one way or another. Either we just use them all on one another and finally fulfill the reason why they were created for … or we just dump them in the sea or something. I simply don’t see the point in stacking them up. All that happens is that there’s a leak and they fall in the wrong hands. (from one monkey to another).
In a closing note … Rage against the machine rocks !!!
Some of those that were forces … are the same that burnt crosses
Once again Mumbai was shaken by multiple – well planned blasts.
Once again the resilient Mumbai-ites came together in the name of humanity.
Once again life has returned back to normal immediately the next day.
Once again there will be another series of blasts … people will die … world leaders will condemn … families will be scarred … terrorism will be victorious !
I completely agree with, and appreciate, the resilience and spirit of Mumbai so to speak (although the same can be extended to the whole country). But somehow I don’t agree with the follow up.
It has become some sort of a cycle … there’s a terrorist attack … people die … there’s worldwide hue and cry … some people are arrested afterwards … people feel safer … and then it happens again. The only thing that changes is that the terrorist organizations become stronger and so do the intensity of the attacks.
I simply don’t understand how these disgraces on humanity can actually manage to survive and flourish in face of the whole ‘worldwide war against terrorism’ going on. Somewhere down the line get a feeling maybe it’s just propaganda. There’s state sponsored / organized terrorism (or genocide) happening everywhere in the world, it’s just that some are elevated to the status of ‘fight for democracy’ while some get the branding of terrorism.
Those who die are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
I don’t think I need to list the atrocities people have gone through the world over in the name of democracy. Crimes are being committed against humanity the world over everyday by countries and they are not being crucified ! There’s a stone pelt here and there but jets still drop bombs on civilians. This is what I think that’s unfair. Why should one group be allowed to massacre while the other is condemned ? Why should some people who die be victims for while others, equally innocent, be called casualties ?
Point is that there’s propaganda everywhere. Either in the name of religion or in the name of democracy or in the name of territory. Humans are basically plain stupid. They fall for one while they denounce the other. What they don’t see through is the vested interests. What they fail to realize is the absurdity of the methods which are the same in all. What they don’t feel, is the pain of another human being in each of these.
Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me
I just wish people had enough power to stand up for what’s wrong and enough sense to see what’s right. I just wish they would stop being hypocritical and accusing only sheep of having a herd mentality.
I think weapons are simply useless. They’re the worst creation of mankind. They’re like mankind’s Frankenstein. I think that as soon as possible, we should do away with them one way or another. Either we just use them all on one another and finally fulfill the reason why they were created for … or we just dump them in the sea or something. I simply don’t see the point in stacking them up. All that happens is that there’s a leak and they fall in the wrong hands. (from one monkey to another).
In a closing note … Rage against the machine rocks !!!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Billions of Fortresses
Sunday was a shocking day for me.
I got down from my house with my folks to leave back for college. As soon as I sat in the car I realised that the stereo wasn't there ! I had sat in the car just the previous day and over the night it had disappeared !
What was even more shocking than realizing that it had been stolen was the fact that the car was parked right in front of the place where the colony guard is supposed to sit !
Now things get stolen everyday from people so I guess it's not that big a deal for anybody. But this was the first time anything had been stolen from us (and hopefully the last time). It's a very humbling feeling of sorts in many ways.
I mean we spend our lifetimes in trying to secure ourselves. We get educated to have a secure future. We buy all kinds of locks and security alarms for our houses. We graduate from bikes to cars for a safer ride. Infact we enter social circles and make friends, etc. in order to secure our needs for belonging and ego. We basically try to build this cocoon around us and lock ourselves in it ... victims of our own insecurity
........ And then all it takes is enough will or hunger of some other individual(s) who take something away from us and make us realise just how penetrable and vulnerable we really are.
It's not just stealing. A wayward comment is sometimes all it takes to make us feel vulnerable and shatter our defence mechanisms.
What's more interesting is that once the feeling of security gets breached, we retract further into our shells and put up more and more layers around us. (we just got an automatic security alarm installed in the car). We become more aggerssive or submissive. But the detachment increases nonetheless. People become more and more suspicious of strangers and even friends and relatives. It's like visiting a posh colony in urban Delhi where people live in there well equipped palaces and are either oblivious or suspicious of anybody else.
Ofcourse we don't live in a utopian world so I can't think of any possible solution for this dichotomy. Moreover I haven't reached the echelons of spirituality where I can shun away materialism and relationships to feel blissful secuirty. I guess what is possible in such a case is to prioritise. I'm not implying a preplanned ranking of everything with worst case scenarios and the works. Real time assesment shall suffice.
I got down from my house with my folks to leave back for college. As soon as I sat in the car I realised that the stereo wasn't there ! I had sat in the car just the previous day and over the night it had disappeared !
What was even more shocking than realizing that it had been stolen was the fact that the car was parked right in front of the place where the colony guard is supposed to sit !
Now things get stolen everyday from people so I guess it's not that big a deal for anybody. But this was the first time anything had been stolen from us (and hopefully the last time). It's a very humbling feeling of sorts in many ways.
I mean we spend our lifetimes in trying to secure ourselves. We get educated to have a secure future. We buy all kinds of locks and security alarms for our houses. We graduate from bikes to cars for a safer ride. Infact we enter social circles and make friends, etc. in order to secure our needs for belonging and ego. We basically try to build this cocoon around us and lock ourselves in it ... victims of our own insecurity
........ And then all it takes is enough will or hunger of some other individual(s) who take something away from us and make us realise just how penetrable and vulnerable we really are.
It's not just stealing. A wayward comment is sometimes all it takes to make us feel vulnerable and shatter our defence mechanisms.
What's more interesting is that once the feeling of security gets breached, we retract further into our shells and put up more and more layers around us. (we just got an automatic security alarm installed in the car). We become more aggerssive or submissive. But the detachment increases nonetheless. People become more and more suspicious of strangers and even friends and relatives. It's like visiting a posh colony in urban Delhi where people live in there well equipped palaces and are either oblivious or suspicious of anybody else.
Ofcourse we don't live in a utopian world so I can't think of any possible solution for this dichotomy. Moreover I haven't reached the echelons of spirituality where I can shun away materialism and relationships to feel blissful secuirty. I guess what is possible in such a case is to prioritise. I'm not implying a preplanned ranking of everything with worst case scenarios and the works. Real time assesment shall suffice.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Hyperdrive !
That's exactly how life feels in right now. Hyperdrive.
classes ... prereads... quizzes... mid terms on the head... competitions ... phew !
I didn't concern myself with any of these last time around so it's a completely new experience ...
pleasant or unpleasant i can't decide.
But thanx to all this what's taken a backseat is my keeping in touch with important people.
Now i'm just waiting for end terms to get over so I can get mailing again ! :)
classes ... prereads... quizzes... mid terms on the head... competitions ... phew !
I didn't concern myself with any of these last time around so it's a completely new experience ...
pleasant or unpleasant i can't decide.
But thanx to all this what's taken a backseat is my keeping in touch with important people.
Now i'm just waiting for end terms to get over so I can get mailing again ! :)
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
People are strange ...
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces seem ugly when you're alone ...
And so sang Jim Morrisson. (i'm gonna take the song a bit out of context)
Sometimes I really wish I had studied psychology instead of computer science.
There are so many instances that I come across where I am simply unable or incapable of understanding the behavior of people, indicudually and in a group. That's a very frustrating feeling. Here you are ... watching someone or some people acting in some way you simply can't comprehend. My interpretation is simply of bemusement. To me it seems just ridiculous.
Just today the induction of my second junior batch got over. It was quite funny to see people behave quite differently from how I'd seen them or come to expect them to behave. Suddenly compassionate people turned cold. Indifferent people turned driven towards a cause of keeping the juniors awake endlessly. Non existent people were suddenly vying for even the smallest piece of limelight they could hog on to. The ostracised turned preachers.
It's quite funny, the whole thing. I can say that because I was quite detached from the whole phenomenon myself. But the one motivation or characteristic that stood to be the common factor among all these anomolies was attention seeking.
It's not too difficult to understand really. I mean here's a batch of 180 some people who know nothing about you as of now. You wanna break free from the cliche' you've been carved into by your peers over the last year. You wanna make an impression. You wanna impress the opposite sex. Basically pretty juvinile.
I would've probably expected a batch of to-be managers with some 2-3 years of work experience to act more maturely. Namely to be above all this. But it's not so.
I can critque this because as I've said earlier, I've been pretty detached this time. I don't remember much of how I was the last time around. Maybe I was juvinile too. Altough I do remember being detached the last time around as well, but then there are always varying perceptions.
The point I'm trying to make is ... is based pretty much upon my experience only. It's what I realize that when I try to assume myself to be behaving that way ( I can only assume as my memory fails me here ) ... I feel very stupid if I had. But then I find it very justifiable and excusable as well. Maybe Freud was right after all.
By the way while writing this i happened to read the lyrics of People are strange more contemplatively ... and I think the poet's words deserve a mention here in full.
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces seem ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Wome seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange
Faces seem ugly when you're alone ...
And so sang Jim Morrisson. (i'm gonna take the song a bit out of context)
Sometimes I really wish I had studied psychology instead of computer science.
There are so many instances that I come across where I am simply unable or incapable of understanding the behavior of people, indicudually and in a group. That's a very frustrating feeling. Here you are ... watching someone or some people acting in some way you simply can't comprehend. My interpretation is simply of bemusement. To me it seems just ridiculous.
Just today the induction of my second junior batch got over. It was quite funny to see people behave quite differently from how I'd seen them or come to expect them to behave. Suddenly compassionate people turned cold. Indifferent people turned driven towards a cause of keeping the juniors awake endlessly. Non existent people were suddenly vying for even the smallest piece of limelight they could hog on to. The ostracised turned preachers.
It's quite funny, the whole thing. I can say that because I was quite detached from the whole phenomenon myself. But the one motivation or characteristic that stood to be the common factor among all these anomolies was attention seeking.
It's not too difficult to understand really. I mean here's a batch of 180 some people who know nothing about you as of now. You wanna break free from the cliche' you've been carved into by your peers over the last year. You wanna make an impression. You wanna impress the opposite sex. Basically pretty juvinile.
I would've probably expected a batch of to-be managers with some 2-3 years of work experience to act more maturely. Namely to be above all this. But it's not so.
I can critque this because as I've said earlier, I've been pretty detached this time. I don't remember much of how I was the last time around. Maybe I was juvinile too. Altough I do remember being detached the last time around as well, but then there are always varying perceptions.
The point I'm trying to make is ... is based pretty much upon my experience only. It's what I realize that when I try to assume myself to be behaving that way ( I can only assume as my memory fails me here ) ... I feel very stupid if I had. But then I find it very justifiable and excusable as well. Maybe Freud was right after all.
By the way while writing this i happened to read the lyrics of People are strange more contemplatively ... and I think the poet's words deserve a mention here in full.
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces seem ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Wome seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Guilt Trip ...
The induction time is here once again.
A batch of 180 seniors make their 180 some juniors go through 3-4 sleepless days of humiliation and tension. I have not been able to find a rational justification for this institute - sponsored ragging yet but like herd mentality I have been a part of it for second year in a row.
So there I was ... shouting at those 'juniors', most of whom are proably atleast 2-3 years older than me. I had imagined it would be some sort of ego cum power trip to stand on the podium and tell them not to sleep or not to cross talk or to take things seriously, etc etc. But at the end of it I felt quite numb. There was no ego trip, no pride and no overwhelming sense of power or joy. If there was anything, there was a nagging question ... Why did I do it ?
But the overwhelming sense of guilt did not come from that. It happened during the 'interviews'.
It's not very easy to put oneself in her shoes ... but i'll try anyways. She hadn't slept for more than 40 hours or so. She was utterly confused about what was happening around her. Things were moving very fast. Every once in a while some seniors came and shouted at the whole batch. A couple of hours back some foreigners had given a very arbit presentation about some colleges she's never heard of. Then they'd gotten mad and walked off and here she was giving an interview for an exchange program she had no clue about, let alone be interested in it.
For us .. she was just the last 'candidate'.
So here we are .. four of us sitting in a room at 4 in the morning. She walked in and sat down. We had decided to take a stress interview. And hence it began ... the endless row of questioning, cross questioning, ordering, embarassment ...
At that moment even I was not feeling any remorse or concern for that poor soul. We had come to a moment in the interview when all four of us were laughing at her as she sat there confused and slightly embarassed but still smiling.
And then it happend ...
In the smiling and answering back and trying to defend her very existence, she cracked and suddenly burst into tears. We were speechless. I was shocked. I was embarassed at myself. The damage, even though only temporary, had been done to her self esteem.
I mean here I was looking at her CV and admiring the things she'd done. A very sweet looking woman who comes from a smaller town than mine. Her resume speaks at leangth about her ambitions and dreams and what all she's accomplished. And I along with 2 others ( one really didn't say anything ) had virtually broken her down to the extent she had to cry in front of 4 strangers.
It's very hard to come over this kind of guilt. A guilt caused by my own stupidity.
Anyways we've decided to take her out for luch and apologise for the nth time ... It may not be enough or necassary .. but nonetheless.
I know she'll probably never read this , but VJ .. I'm really really sorry.
A batch of 180 seniors make their 180 some juniors go through 3-4 sleepless days of humiliation and tension. I have not been able to find a rational justification for this institute - sponsored ragging yet but like herd mentality I have been a part of it for second year in a row.
So there I was ... shouting at those 'juniors', most of whom are proably atleast 2-3 years older than me. I had imagined it would be some sort of ego cum power trip to stand on the podium and tell them not to sleep or not to cross talk or to take things seriously, etc etc. But at the end of it I felt quite numb. There was no ego trip, no pride and no overwhelming sense of power or joy. If there was anything, there was a nagging question ... Why did I do it ?
But the overwhelming sense of guilt did not come from that. It happened during the 'interviews'.
It's not very easy to put oneself in her shoes ... but i'll try anyways. She hadn't slept for more than 40 hours or so. She was utterly confused about what was happening around her. Things were moving very fast. Every once in a while some seniors came and shouted at the whole batch. A couple of hours back some foreigners had given a very arbit presentation about some colleges she's never heard of. Then they'd gotten mad and walked off and here she was giving an interview for an exchange program she had no clue about, let alone be interested in it.
For us .. she was just the last 'candidate'.
So here we are .. four of us sitting in a room at 4 in the morning. She walked in and sat down. We had decided to take a stress interview. And hence it began ... the endless row of questioning, cross questioning, ordering, embarassment ...
At that moment even I was not feeling any remorse or concern for that poor soul. We had come to a moment in the interview when all four of us were laughing at her as she sat there confused and slightly embarassed but still smiling.
And then it happend ...
In the smiling and answering back and trying to defend her very existence, she cracked and suddenly burst into tears. We were speechless. I was shocked. I was embarassed at myself. The damage, even though only temporary, had been done to her self esteem.
I mean here I was looking at her CV and admiring the things she'd done. A very sweet looking woman who comes from a smaller town than mine. Her resume speaks at leangth about her ambitions and dreams and what all she's accomplished. And I along with 2 others ( one really didn't say anything ) had virtually broken her down to the extent she had to cry in front of 4 strangers.
It's very hard to come over this kind of guilt. A guilt caused by my own stupidity.
Anyways we've decided to take her out for luch and apologise for the nth time ... It may not be enough or necassary .. but nonetheless.
I know she'll probably never read this , but VJ .. I'm really really sorry.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Thank you sLiPkNoT !
It's back !!!
I had been feeling very imcomplete lately.
It's like some life force was missing. Some passion.
I sincerely believe that there's one particular thing that always keeps one going. Something other than work ... ambition ... power ... blah blah. Something that you require regularly in doses. For some it's family. For some it may be painting. Hobby wouldn't be the exact way to put it. Whatever it may be termed ... I know for me it's music.
It's a perfect harmony (well created music that is). It's the symbolism for creativity, synchronization, intelligence, emotions and the works.
I had lost it for some time off late. Music had gone into the background. It had been not able to appreciate it. I had become detached.
But .... now it's back. And what brought it back ?
sLiPkNoT !!!
It was duality actually. Now it's rage against the machine, coldplay .... they're all gradually coming back . I know some people may not wanna call slipknot music ... well ... balls !!!
I had been feeling very imcomplete lately.
It's like some life force was missing. Some passion.
I sincerely believe that there's one particular thing that always keeps one going. Something other than work ... ambition ... power ... blah blah. Something that you require regularly in doses. For some it's family. For some it may be painting. Hobby wouldn't be the exact way to put it. Whatever it may be termed ... I know for me it's music.
It's a perfect harmony (well created music that is). It's the symbolism for creativity, synchronization, intelligence, emotions and the works.
I had lost it for some time off late. Music had gone into the background. It had been not able to appreciate it. I had become detached.
But .... now it's back. And what brought it back ?
sLiPkNoT !!!
It was duality actually. Now it's rage against the machine, coldplay .... they're all gradually coming back . I know some people may not wanna call slipknot music ... well ... balls !!!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Home Sweet Home
It's true that it's damn hot here and even a single night at home in the ac is much welcome. It is also true that I had a lot of unwashed clothes and it is much easier to haul them back home and get them washed and ironed rather than get it done here by myself.
But more than any of those reasons, I feel it was just good to be home for a day. After what's happened home may not be the same, but it's still much better than here. It's still the place you can feel loved and comfortable.
"Country roads ... take me home ..."
But more than any of those reasons, I feel it was just good to be home for a day. After what's happened home may not be the same, but it's still much better than here. It's still the place you can feel loved and comfortable.
"Country roads ... take me home ..."
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Victimization or Legitimate action ?
Just last night I was kidnapped by a professor. He went on lamenting about his 'those' days when he used to be young. It was irrelevant mostly. But a few times in the middle of the conversations, or the monolouge, he claimed that he admired me. Naturally I asked him why. His reason was that I had been victimized and still I was strong.
Victimized ?
Apparently the 'gods' in the upper echelons of power had decided that the mortal MBAs were taking life not so seriously. The Gods feared that the mortal MBAs had started believing (or realizing) that most of what they were doing was simply over-hyped nonsense. They feared that the kids were loosing their capabilities of respect.
They wanted to make an example out of someone. They wanted to send ripples in the community (I'm quoting him). They wanted to find a scapegoat who was very popular and very happy. To their pleasure, they found me ! To make their jobs even easier, I was an open rebel as well. So one day the gods sat in their high thrones, they decided that conformation had to be re-instated. And thus they passed this decree. To hold me back that is.
Now I choose not to believe him. It would be very easy to believe the romanticized and tragic version of the antihero and thus let the impact on me fade away. The above story would be a dangerous hypothesis for me for it would put the blame in hands other than mine.
Not that I am obsessed with claiming the blame. It's just that I would be much better off in believing that it was legitimate action enforced on a misdirected soul. That it was necassary by rule. Then I would have something to prove.
As they say
When in rome ...
Victimized ?
Apparently the 'gods' in the upper echelons of power had decided that the mortal MBAs were taking life not so seriously. The Gods feared that the mortal MBAs had started believing (or realizing) that most of what they were doing was simply over-hyped nonsense. They feared that the kids were loosing their capabilities of respect.
They wanted to make an example out of someone. They wanted to send ripples in the community (I'm quoting him). They wanted to find a scapegoat who was very popular and very happy. To their pleasure, they found me ! To make their jobs even easier, I was an open rebel as well. So one day the gods sat in their high thrones, they decided that conformation had to be re-instated. And thus they passed this decree. To hold me back that is.
Now I choose not to believe him. It would be very easy to believe the romanticized and tragic version of the antihero and thus let the impact on me fade away. The above story would be a dangerous hypothesis for me for it would put the blame in hands other than mine.
Not that I am obsessed with claiming the blame. It's just that I would be much better off in believing that it was legitimate action enforced on a misdirected soul. That it was necassary by rule. Then I would have something to prove.
As they say
When in rome ...
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