well it's my birthday eve ... so i was just trying to recall all the birtdays I could remember. I was ... and still am quite shocked !
Out of the 22 such apparently 'most important days' that have passed, i could just remember 2 !!!
Ok let's discount the first 2-3 buddays on the reason that I was probably too young to understand and remember them. But after that ... there is no reason that I shouldn't have !
The first one that I remember happened sometime when i was around 10 (See ... i don't even remember the date !!!). There was a kiddy birthday party at our house. There were lots of little kids. We all had them cone shaped birthday hats. We played musical chairs. Then I cut the cake and everyone sang them birthday songs. Then we all ate some cake and chips and patties and had some coke. I recieved lots of gifts ... but I don't remember any of them. Then i gave them return gifts and they all went back home by 10.
The second one was last year. It was in MDI. It's the sweetest birthday that I'll remember for the rest of my life probably.
Well this year there's nothing much to look forward to. It'll be the usual. SSDD.
I don't get it what's the big deal about birthdays anyway ! It's just any other day. I don't even remember being born ... I was just told I was born this day ! Just an excuse to party though :) But out here in Poland even that's a commodity !
Anywayz ... happy birthday to me ;)
Showing posts with label duality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label duality. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Freebird ...
Recieved a mail a couple of days back ... this is what it said.
If i leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me ?
For I must be travelling on, now
'Cause there's too many places, I've gotta see
But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Bye, Bye, babe it's been sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
and this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.
Would you still remember me ?
For I must be travelling on, now
'Cause there's too many places, I've gotta see
But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Bye, Bye, babe it's been sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
and this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Vampires and Warewolves
A couple of days ago i was introduced to the Monsters Game 4 by a source I do not seem to remember right now. I seems like a really interesting online game.
You choose to be either a vampire or a warewolf. You have certain attributes such as strength, agility, defense, stamina, etc. You have to earn gold coins to do anything either by working in the graveyard or by raiding a town of innocent victims or you can loot them by attacking a warewolf.
I was introduced to strategy games by Red Alert (see previous posts) and I instantly fell in love with them. The fact that it's a battle of grey cells rather than hand-eye coordination appealed to me the most. It basically gives me more people to challenge ;).
The game's pretty appealing at first. But just like Red Alert ... it turned out to be a simple game of numbers. Once you figure out the investment in a move, it's possible payback and the variable risk, the game turns black and white. It being a browser game is much more simpler than Red Alert. So the novelty or the mystery of the game is already lost for me. All that remains is probably the ego of being on top. Which'll take no less than a year I suppose.
If anyone's interested in checking it out ... here's the link.
You choose to be either a vampire or a warewolf. You have certain attributes such as strength, agility, defense, stamina, etc. You have to earn gold coins to do anything either by working in the graveyard or by raiding a town of innocent victims or you can loot them by attacking a warewolf.
I was introduced to strategy games by Red Alert (see previous posts) and I instantly fell in love with them. The fact that it's a battle of grey cells rather than hand-eye coordination appealed to me the most. It basically gives me more people to challenge ;).
The game's pretty appealing at first. But just like Red Alert ... it turned out to be a simple game of numbers. Once you figure out the investment in a move, it's possible payback and the variable risk, the game turns black and white. It being a browser game is much more simpler than Red Alert. So the novelty or the mystery of the game is already lost for me. All that remains is probably the ego of being on top. Which'll take no less than a year I suppose.
If anyone's interested in checking it out ... here's the link.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Carpe Diem
Was forwarded this quote by monkey today ... really liked it ...
It's from Dead Poet's Society .. I guess I need to watch that movie ;)
They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.
It's from Dead Poet's Society .. I guess I need to watch that movie ;)
They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.
Monday, October 09, 2006
A ‘pinch’ of Brown
Till now I’d read a lot about racial discrimination. About apartheid. About the ‘blacks’. About the ‘dalits’. About the ‘untouchables’. About the great leaders who tried to fight it. About wars. About various genres of music being inspired in slave ghettos.
I’d seen movies like American History X showing a side of the white supremists. I’d read about some of them ‘punks’ here in Poland with their haircuts and swastika tattoos, etc.
But finally when I came face to face with racial discrimination … it was in the form of a sweet looking girl not much older than I am. We went to this restaurant to have dinner … 5 Indians. We sat and ordered whatever we could understand. We were just sitting and talking like any other human being in the place. Then this sweet looking girl comes up to us and asks us “Where are you from ?”.
We reply normally, “India”.
She asks “You’re a long way from home … how come ?”.
We tell her how we’re in Poland and that we’re just traveling in her city.
Then all a sudden ... the sweet smile changed into devilish grin. “Well you chose the wrong country to come !”
Puzzled, we ask, “why do you say that ?”
With contempt in her eyes she answers back, “ because you are not welcome here”
Still confused with why suddenly the world was shifting under our feet, we ask her, “why ?”
And that’s when it hits us when she says very matter of factly with a remorseless smile, “Because you’re brown”.
Whatever happened after that is not worth mentioning. To say the least after a little more conversation we just left the place … with our prides hurt.
The very next emotion that hits you after experiencing something like that is anger. Immense, uncontrollable, irrational and scorching anger. Your mind races, it replays that moment again and again in order to understand what just happened and seeks to answer why the hell … why ? I mean we had done nothing wrong. Beneath our Brown skin we were like just any other mortal sitting under that roof having a meal just like anyone else. And still we were not welcome. Still we had to gather the pieces of our shattered egos and prides and walk away. Irrational. And exactly that is the reason why we shouldn’t have. We try to fool ourselves to believe that we should’ve stayed there and ‘stood by our rights’ only to have been more brutally demeaned later on. Anger.
That night it was just so difficult to sleep. Lying in bed, the transition from a smile to those contemptuous eyes kept reappearing again and again. A big question mark kept knocking on my forehead with a hammer. Finally, somewhere in the midst of a million thoughts and feelings, I drifted away …
The next morning was much calmer. My brain more rational. I re-winded to time since we came here. I met all those nice people again. Normal people. I realized that this was just one bad incident. One in a million that I’d had so I shouldn’t be bothered. I remember reading about the little fraction of people who were like that.
And then I miss home. I remember not remembering a single incident in my country where some white or black or brown or small eyed or big nosed human being was told that he was not welcome. Sure we do harass people … probably for their money or probably some really horny Indian touches a white woman in a place where he shouldn’t have … but then they’re still all welcome. They’re still not told to leave. Sure we may have racial discrimination within our country …. But then that’s here as well ! I don’t understand for what reason the western countries call themselves great while belting out such humiliation to people on the other hand. Yes I am hurt. Still. I know it’ll get better. I know I’ll meet more people here who’ll gradually erase this bad memory. But the lesson still remains. The comparison will still stand tall with my country’s shadow on the others. My respect for my country still increases.
Of course one of my other brown friends also experienced a similar incident … but chuck it.
Thinking about it more rationally. You realize how insecure these people are. Someone’s not welcome in your house only when you consider him in some way a threat. Now whatever the reason may be … superstitious and irrational, religious, economical or whatever … these people just show their insecurity.
Anywayz … I’ve overturned this experience on its head as everything has a good side to it as well.
Moreover, as someone with a more progressive thinking I realize the kind of difference that exist and the cross cultural gaps that need bridging. One realized the kind of challenges facing the third rock from the sun from becoming a whole. One appreciates the efforts of people like Nelson Mandela and countless others in history for fighting something so arbit and irrational and yet so strong. One realizes the greatness about being brown.
I’d seen movies like American History X showing a side of the white supremists. I’d read about some of them ‘punks’ here in Poland with their haircuts and swastika tattoos, etc.
But finally when I came face to face with racial discrimination … it was in the form of a sweet looking girl not much older than I am. We went to this restaurant to have dinner … 5 Indians. We sat and ordered whatever we could understand. We were just sitting and talking like any other human being in the place. Then this sweet looking girl comes up to us and asks us “Where are you from ?”.
We reply normally, “India”.
She asks “You’re a long way from home … how come ?”.
We tell her how we’re in Poland and that we’re just traveling in her city.
Then all a sudden ... the sweet smile changed into devilish grin. “Well you chose the wrong country to come !”
Puzzled, we ask, “why do you say that ?”
With contempt in her eyes she answers back, “ because you are not welcome here”
Still confused with why suddenly the world was shifting under our feet, we ask her, “why ?”
And that’s when it hits us when she says very matter of factly with a remorseless smile, “Because you’re brown”.
Whatever happened after that is not worth mentioning. To say the least after a little more conversation we just left the place … with our prides hurt.
The very next emotion that hits you after experiencing something like that is anger. Immense, uncontrollable, irrational and scorching anger. Your mind races, it replays that moment again and again in order to understand what just happened and seeks to answer why the hell … why ? I mean we had done nothing wrong. Beneath our Brown skin we were like just any other mortal sitting under that roof having a meal just like anyone else. And still we were not welcome. Still we had to gather the pieces of our shattered egos and prides and walk away. Irrational. And exactly that is the reason why we shouldn’t have. We try to fool ourselves to believe that we should’ve stayed there and ‘stood by our rights’ only to have been more brutally demeaned later on. Anger.
That night it was just so difficult to sleep. Lying in bed, the transition from a smile to those contemptuous eyes kept reappearing again and again. A big question mark kept knocking on my forehead with a hammer. Finally, somewhere in the midst of a million thoughts and feelings, I drifted away …
The next morning was much calmer. My brain more rational. I re-winded to time since we came here. I met all those nice people again. Normal people. I realized that this was just one bad incident. One in a million that I’d had so I shouldn’t be bothered. I remember reading about the little fraction of people who were like that.
And then I miss home. I remember not remembering a single incident in my country where some white or black or brown or small eyed or big nosed human being was told that he was not welcome. Sure we do harass people … probably for their money or probably some really horny Indian touches a white woman in a place where he shouldn’t have … but then they’re still all welcome. They’re still not told to leave. Sure we may have racial discrimination within our country …. But then that’s here as well ! I don’t understand for what reason the western countries call themselves great while belting out such humiliation to people on the other hand. Yes I am hurt. Still. I know it’ll get better. I know I’ll meet more people here who’ll gradually erase this bad memory. But the lesson still remains. The comparison will still stand tall with my country’s shadow on the others. My respect for my country still increases.
Of course one of my other brown friends also experienced a similar incident … but chuck it.
Thinking about it more rationally. You realize how insecure these people are. Someone’s not welcome in your house only when you consider him in some way a threat. Now whatever the reason may be … superstitious and irrational, religious, economical or whatever … these people just show their insecurity.
Anywayz … I’ve overturned this experience on its head as everything has a good side to it as well.
Moreover, as someone with a more progressive thinking I realize the kind of difference that exist and the cross cultural gaps that need bridging. One realized the kind of challenges facing the third rock from the sun from becoming a whole. One appreciates the efforts of people like Nelson Mandela and countless others in history for fighting something so arbit and irrational and yet so strong. One realizes the greatness about being brown.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Flight of ecstacy
That's how my first flight was :)
not because of the service ... Turkish airlines service is really crappy and the cabin crew is pathetic. It was because of the thrill of being 10,400 m in the air and cruising at 840 km/h !!!
The take off is the best part of the whole experience. You're sitting nicely in your seat when all of a sudden there's this huge force and u start accelerating ... 50km/h ... 100 km/h ... 300 km/h ... and then just take off !! All of that just in some 10-15 seconds !!! Fast cars are a fantasy of the past now for me. It's the skies now that I wanna zoom in !
After climbing to around 10,000 meters it's just a completely different world up there. Walking around in some serene landscape with waterfalls and streams and lush greenery etc. etc. like they show in wall paintings is one thing. Zooming around in mammoth but so still as those wall sceneries is something completely different. It's a very humbling experience of sorts as well. Each cloud is a gigantic island in themselves ... yet they float so calmly over the skies.
I dunno about someone else ... but i thought they were very beautiful !
Here's some pictures as taken from my window :)
not because of the service ... Turkish airlines service is really crappy and the cabin crew is pathetic. It was because of the thrill of being 10,400 m in the air and cruising at 840 km/h !!!
The take off is the best part of the whole experience. You're sitting nicely in your seat when all of a sudden there's this huge force and u start accelerating ... 50km/h ... 100 km/h ... 300 km/h ... and then just take off !! All of that just in some 10-15 seconds !!! Fast cars are a fantasy of the past now for me. It's the skies now that I wanna zoom in !
After climbing to around 10,000 meters it's just a completely different world up there. Walking around in some serene landscape with waterfalls and streams and lush greenery etc. etc. like they show in wall paintings is one thing. Zooming around in mammoth but so still as those wall sceneries is something completely different. It's a very humbling experience of sorts as well. Each cloud is a gigantic island in themselves ... yet they float so calmly over the skies.
I dunno about someone else ... but i thought they were very beautiful !
Here's some pictures as taken from my window :)
feels like you can just walk on them :)
flying into the sunset
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