Whhhhy so seriousssss ?

Crap !

2008-12-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

Wants to stop all this nonsense. Is extremely bored.

And sadly, thanks to FB and Twitter, has started referring to himself in third person. @$#$%

Violence !!!

2008-11-10T11:02:00.000-08:00

(Above : NOT an advert for Adidas)

Yes my faint mustached friends ! That's the word o' the day !!!!

It's everywhere ! It's in the streets ... it's in the 'homes' ... it's in lives .. the news-fuckin-papers .. the 24-hr-freakin-channels ... in ur office (: refer to fight club) ... it's in ur dustbin or in the person standing next to you's pants ... it's EVERYWHERE !!!!

Now how did I come about this word ?

Well I was listening quietly to Violence by Anathema ... wen i thot abt googling / youtubin (if that's the word they're using for it nowadays). For a nice rendition of the video .. click here or here.

Anyhow ... i definitely agree ... it's everwhere !!! From the marketplace (I work in the soft drinks' imdustry) to osama-bin's o' the world.

And then I thot ...
Why can't we just ...
1. Bring peace in our hearts etc. etc. and get it over with ?
2. Just kill each other and get it over with ?

While the first one may look highly utopian .. it is highly impractical. On the other hand, the other one seems highly do-able (ask osama for roadmap) but highly un-utopian.

The middle way .. is to ignore .. pack ur lunchbox (if u have such luxuries) ... go to work .. come back and sleep and hope not to be blown away by a dustbin or a cloud for a stupid misconception.

No Matter what ! I think everyone's gonna enjoy the following ... (Parental advisory ... well advised)

Started : Fallout 3

2008-11-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

Create a new post ... c'mon ... I dare ya to !

2008-10-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

That's a question that blogspot poses me everytime single damn time i log in ...

It tells me ... It prods me ... It fingers me (*(A rating)) ... It bugs me ... It says ...

"C'mon darlin' ......... create a new post .......... I dare ya to !"

And then, just like a game's HUD (Head's up display), just like the spinning wheel ("Mein hoon samay" ... from the acclaimed thriller titled mahabharata !) ... it show me the stats ... "Thou haven't blogged in a Year ! Thou shalt suffer from in-competency ... and similar such 'in' prefixed curses ! )

Anywhow, I went back to Delhi ... 2 Highlights !

1. Met up with the MML squad ... few from who's left. Shanky, Gargy ... and well that's it. Rest were all sidekicks. That actually brings me to the exciting thought regarding 'who's left'. Just recently, we all received an e-mail regarding a fuck who was a part of the 'MML' (so-called) and then sent a mail asking not to be a part of it. Well my first reaction was ... "Bitch ... noone asked you to be a part of anything in the first place. It was ur in-stincts/securities that led u to become a part o any group in the first place."
However, Instead of doing that ... I empathized ... I allowed the other's perspective to sink in. And then I realized that maybe it just ain't what it used to be. Maybe it was frail. Maybe, we don't believe in it enuff. Maybe, we're just waiting for someone to take a leap of faith ... and all that blah blah ...
2. Seecond thing i noticed without fail ... POVERTY !!! C'mon folks .. I've stayed in delhi, BBY, BLR, Jaipur, Ludhiana, Jalandhar .... and serriously ... the SHEER number of poor people I see in delhi is nowhere close to what I see anywhere else !!! I mean this time it was like the fuckin peakk o Mt. Fuckmemore ... I remember standing in my balcony and staring down at a beggar who was literally standing in no man's land ... and he had a cloth arnd his nose, and specs, and all the other rag tags .. and was begging for food.
He was begging for food from little kids and their dads who were burning money up in loud or colourful or high flying or "different" 'explosions'. ......... and noone paid any heed. Money was burnt up in paper shreds and smoke ... but noone gave him food.

He ambled by.

Kinda how we all become after a long time. Apathetic.

Anyhow, I'm towards the end 'o my post. And I think i've answered to all in with a question. Do Ya feel any different ? C'mon ... be honest ... I dare ya !

... Fake fuckin plastic trees !

Dead Space : Rocks !

2008-10-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Seriously ... to title a post with the name of a PS3 game is heights of adoloscent boy-ism ! But then I can't help it !

The only thing happening in my life is the freakin' games ! If you know a better option in Jalandhar ... be my guest and suggest !

Meanwhile, get lost and get scared in ..

Damn ... !

2008-10-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

Just posted about Resistance and realized that I haven't posted for almost a YEAR !!!

That's just an indication of how lost/busy the last 12 months have been ... I wouldn't like to say more ... that's probably because I have not much to say ... Think that's how my mind's becoming nowadays ... blank ! I have nothing to say !

Blech ...

Conquered : Resistance - Fall of Man

2008-10-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

Drowning ... THIS is what it feels like

2007-11-26T11:04:00.001-08:00

This is the most honest account I've ever written. I am not ashamed of it. I am not proud of it. It just is. Honest. (for pictures click here)

Your mind is blank. Your senses, numb. Your heart , steady. You'd just witnessed what you remember as your raft tilted sideways on to its right side, and flip over in the middle of a 3.8 grade rapid. It looked as if everything was in control.

There is silence. 5 seconds pass by.

Before anything else, fear strikes you. The fear that something's just gone terribly wrong. That that looked like it was under control, suddenly feels horribly wrong. You know it, but you can't exactly point a finger at it. Your mind is racing because of this intuition , but not in the correct direction. The realization of that fear alerts your other senses to break away from the numbness.

The first thing that hits you is the cold. Absolute, piercing cold. You are in river Ganga.

But that feeling is just fleeting because your senses and horror is multiplied by what you see. Everything is a greenish-bluish-grey. You don't see much around you. Just that colour with light which seems to be flowing and floating.

You realize you are under water.

Panic attacks.

You open your mouth to scream, but cold water flows in, choking you.

Panic multiplies.

2 seconds have passed by.

You struggle. Wave and beat your hands and your legs in all directions. Nothing happens. You are suspended in water, the only thing you can touch is water which seems to pass from under your hands as you touch it.

You shake your head frantically. Look in all directions. All you see is the ominous colour.

In panic, you try to breathe again through your nose only to be reaffirmed with the water breaking and entering your lungs.You can feel the cold water in your lungs. You can feel it filling you up.

You close your eyes. Maybe it's just a nightmare. This can't be happening to me. I don't know how to swim. I can't be here. This can't be happening to me. You try to wish it away.

10 seconds pass by.

Your lungs start aching. It feels like your chest is going to burst because the air in it wants to come out so bad. But you don't want to let it go. That's the only air you have left.

Panic.

You open your eyes again. You are looking up now. You see something, can't exactly make out what it is. Then you see some light on its edge. You touch it. Rather it touches you. You realize it’s the raft and you are trapped under it.

Your mind is racing. Why is this happening to me you think. How did I get myself in this position. Why did I sign my own death warrant while signing on that liability waiver form.

You think about your parents. Your parents.
You see their faces. They're smiling. You remember they'd never approved of this in the first place. You remember how much they love you. You see their faces again. They're sad. They're crying.

You realize, not think, not figure, not understand, not calculate. You realize ... that you are going to die.

You calm down a little bit. Maybe it's giving up to the realization. Maybe it's the body tiring with lack of air. Maybe it's the cold water numbing you. Your heart and actions seem to be calming a bit. But your mind is still racing. You feel sad for the loss of your parents.

You try to breathe again. Only to be rudely reminded with more water flowing in. This time you know you took the little more than you could take.

another 10 seconds pass by. Feels like a decade ambled by.

The water in your stomach rushes out. You puke in the water. You taste the puke as it comes out. You feel it mix with the water around you. You feel disgusted, but only for a millisecond. You close your eyes and shake your head to shake off the puke around you.

Then it strikes you, the rope running all around the raft. It's like a breath of air. They said you should hold on to the rope. They said no one really dies in rafting. They never discussed much about what you should do when you are trapped under the raft. They never talked about choking in your own puke.

You start feeling the raft. You match the contours you feel and can see with the mental diagram of the raft. The blank spaces. The curves. The edge. The rope.

And maybe as the last attempt of a dying man, you grab the rope and pull yourself from under the raft.

10 seconds pass. No air in your lungs.

While you drag yourself up, you realize there'll be air waiting outside. Waiting to welcome you. Sudden euphoria strikes.

You see light. All that light. Normal daylight. You almost reach above. But.

But there's no air. What you were told later was that we'd just entered the third rapid (in a series of three - Three Blind Mice as the rapid's called).

Then suddenly there's air. But only for a brief second. Just as you'd opened your mouth to satiate yourself with air, more water had come down. You got a little bit of air, but not enough. More water in your lungs.

What the fuck you think, why isn't there any air. There's supposed to be air up here. There's supposed to be !

Now it's more violent than when you were under the raft. Being in the third rapid, the overturned raft is bouncing around like a pin ball. 7-8 feet of waves in the rapid are coming crashing down upon you. Trying to pull you away from the raft.

You grasp whiffs of air in the middle of all the water, but never enough. It's always more water than air in every gasp.

You get frustrated. Angry. Where's the bloody air. Why's there so much water around me.
You get scared. The struggle now, in addition to breathing, is to hold on the raft as the turbulent water wants to take you in another direction from the lighter, floating raft.

You notice the guy sitting on your right on the raft. He's hanging by your side. He doesn't know how to swim. You had bloodshot eyes he tells you later on. You looked like you'd seen a ghost he tells you. You say you had. Not a ghost, but death itself. But at that moment, he looks as scared as you did.

The only thing you can see is the raft in front of your face. And water everywhere. Above you. Below you. Around you. In your eyes. In your mouth. In your nose. It's salty.

You realize, again not think, realize, that maybe this was just false hope. A decoy. You're still going to die. It's been a while since you breathed. Your smoked out lungs are anywayz over with even the reserve. You need a whole tank of air. All you get is more water than air. It's not helping.

You've done everything. There's nothing possibly you can do more. Why the fuck is there still so much water. When is it going to end ? Will it ever end ?

That's when you feel truly helpless. More than you did the minute before. You've done everything in your power.

You close your eyes. You think of your parents. They're in front of you. Expressionless. You tell them you love them. They love you too, you idiot. They're happy. You tell them you're sorry. They become sad. You can't see them sad.

You clench your eyelids further. And you pray. You pray to God.
You used to say that you didn't believe in him. You're a man of science. A man of your own destiny. You'd never believe in God. You'd said. Now you pray. You close your eyes. Hold on to the rope as tightly as possible. And Pray. You accept your mistake of having had no belief. For having said those blasphemous things. You say you're sorry. You promise to have faith from now. You beg for God to save you just this once. You'll never get into trouble again, but just this one time you ask him to cover your ass. You pray to God for your parents to not experience the pain of your death. You pray. You feel weak. Things seem a little slow.

And soon the water subsides. There's no more water crashing down upon you. You're out of the rapid. You can finally keep your head out of water.

Air. At last.

The first thing you do is you thank god. You thank your parents.

You feel happy. You smile. You have that glazed smile. The kind when you'd have in heavy turbulence if you were secretly enjoying it while everyone around you let out worried whimpers.

You know you'd almost died. You know it was one and a half foot in the grave before you came out. You realize that was just an awesome experience. It was crazy. But awesome. Liberating. You might just wanna do it again.

Finally the guide comes and drags you up and takes you ashore.

You finish the rest of the course paddling fiercely and screaming at the river. Liberated. Thrilled. Thankful.

Highway Star

2007-06-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

Nobody's gonna take my car, I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody's gonna beat my car, It's gonna break the speed of sound
Ooooh it's a killing machine, It's got everything
Like a driving power big fat tires everything

Deep Purple sang this song thinking they were so special ... they were so wrong !

You come down to any Indian road, and you don't just see one lunatic who thinks he's a highway star, you see a the whole freakin galaxy !!!

Seriously, it's a known fact that Indians have absolutely no traffic sense. Unfortunately I think that's just a mild way of putting it and more so, dismissing it lightly.

But putting the more obvious suicidal and murderous tendencies of the drivers aside ... I have come across a more peculiar observation. It's like this - I'm going down in my car in this narrow lane probably meant for bicycles, and there's a car coming from the opposite side as well. Now I know I can bank my car next to the paan-waala allowing just-enough room for the other guy to pass through just barely. But I can see even the other guy has a place close to him just like that. Now, for more birth-related reasons (namely : I'm Indian), I don't bank next to the paan waala and think, due to some psychopathic reasons, that the other guy would stop. But ofcourse, due to the same birth-related reasons, he doesn't stop as well. So now we end up stuck headlight-to-headlight in ... a glaring competition !!!

Oh yes, that's what I am talking about - The Glare. Almost anybody who's been on Indian roads on any mode knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's the deadening-frozen glare that u get from the person sitting behind the wheel telling you that you're an idiot and you don't have any road-manners and probably were abducted as a kid and also should be whisked away now. It's the glare which says "What the hell are u doing man !". It kinda reminds me of the way the profs in MDI used to look at me after I'd just woken up from my mid-lecture nap.

But this one's especially amazing. That's because I know that the person giving me the glare is probably as inept at understanding traffic rules and is a mass murderer of traffic sense and rules himself. But still ... there's the glare !

I've gotten ga-zillion glares from uncles, drivers, shorties, one-foot-in-the-grave old women and even a 13 year old ! Well I had to peep down onto the driver's seat to get the last glare.

Earlier I used to glare back. You know the drill, be a man on the road, don't let your guard down and all that crap. But now I just smile. It's loads of fun, you should try it. Next time you get a glare from the man with the bushy mustache because u turned a little too fast into him, give him a nice big smile. Even show your teeth if you have to. That just turns that glare into a gaze - confounded, extremely.

Nobody's gonna take my car...
I'm a highway star, I'm a highway star.

Cursed to be Born

2007-05-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days when you are just chillin ...leading ur mundane life the 'coolest' way you think .. and then something just happens and brings the world in your face ... smashing the comfortable cocoon that you build around yourself.

I was just meeting up with Indranil and TAG at PVR saket ... sipping onto some iced eskimo outside Cafe Coffee Day and having a couple of doobers. We were discussing people, old times and the usual stuff.

Four little boys came running towards us. 2 of them looked around 6-8 years old while the other 2 looked around 13-14 ... harmless. They all wore the ragged, torn, dirty clothes that the slum children wear. They were all dark skinned .. probably from the dirt that sticks on them and the sun they have to face due to the lack of a roof on their heads for much of their days. The two younger ones were visibly running away from the elder ones.

One of the bigger ones punched a younger one in the back and he sort of stumbled towards where we were sitting. The other younger one followed suite. The young ones grabbed the legs of mine and TAG's chair and started complaining generally to everybody that the elder ones were beating them up. The elders tried to drag the kids away from us but they held on to our chairs tightly.

Till that point we were pretending not to notice the ruckus. We were pretending to have one of those 'coffee shop' discussions (u know the kinds ... 'so how's he/she' .. 'that one was a bitch' ... 'that movie was awesome' ... highly shallow in comparison but necessary and entertaining). But the scene unfolding next to us was getting a little too loud and a bit violent to be ignored and to be allowed to be in the background. The little ones were, every once in a while, looking at everyone sitting there and tellin us that they were getting beaten up with the hope that someone would come and help them.

At that point, since this was happening right next to our table ... and chairs !! .. we decided to tell 'all of them' to buzz of and not bother us. I looked at one of the elders and told him to beat it and stop bugging them and us. He just looked at me .. with no fear in his eyes .. or rather a slight arrogance, said that the little kids were not coming with them.

We thought that this would subside and the went back to our 'conversations'. At that time one of the elder kids took out a match, lit it and pressed the lit stick on one of the little kids' bare legs. Hearing the cry of pain I snapped back at the elder kid to stop this immediately and buzz off. He again looked at me with those eyes and told me that the little kids owed 'em money and they were not returning it. We again got back to our 'conversation'.

Then I heard the thing that gave me goosebumps. The elder kid came close to the kid who was holding on to the leg of my chair, and said to him politely that if they came now then 'he' would just take the money or else later on 'he' would take the money and cut off one of their hands or legs. At that moment the scene next to me no longer remained the background radio static and my ears were riveted towards them.

The elder kid repeated that threat again.

He tried to pull 'em again but to no avail. That's when I told ID that these kids were probably a part of those begging rackets and it was so unfortunate for the young kids. At which he reminded me that it was equally unfortunate for the elder ones as well as they had probably lived through similar ordeals. Then we discussed our 'helplessness' in this regard.

We tried telling the elder kids again to take a walk while they kept hovering around and coming in once in a while.

Finally, after a while, the elder kid managed to pull one of the kids free from his grip on the chair and dragged his some 2-3 feet before picking him, ruffing him up and then dragging him towards the back. The elder kid then came to the little one sitting next to my chair and told him politely that they'd already taken his brother and that if he didn't follow suite then they would cut off his brothers arms and later his as well.

The other little kid wiped his tears, stood up .. and walked with him.

We were silent for a while. I suppose the same things went on in our heads ... sadness, disghust, anger, helplessness, frustration at the helplessness ...

All my way back I kept picturing those little kids howling while they got their hands or fingers or something chopped off ... and then back on the road again the next day showing their disability and begging. Out of which they'd have to pay the leaders who run this racket.

I hate this feeling .. this feeling of helplessness. It is so obvious that a war or a movement (or whatever you wanna call it) has to be raged against these gangs at a social, legal and even a physical level to stop this menace.
I hate lamenting about these things to other people ... acknowledging that these things happen and it's such a shame and we're so helpless .. I hate it. I think it's quite looser-ly.

It's like the way I feel about Bombay or Delhi or our country and it's people as a whole. We like to call ourselves resilient. We take pride in the fact that we have our families blown away by terrorists one day and then we still manage to go to work the next day like it was nothing more than a cockroach dying in our bathrooms. Well that's just stupid .. there's nothing to be proud in that !!! The same millions of people travel by the same trains that were bombed the last day simply because they have no other option !!! Most of those people simply cannot afford to not go to work the next day and they just don't have any other mode of transportation but those stupid trains ! It is not resilience or bravery or an ability to pick ourselves up after we fall and other fabled things like that ... It is just helplessness, cowardice, indifference and a hope that it won't happen to us ... it's just disguised that way in which the media also plays a major part. It's a sad state of affairs.

Now ofcourse I am not saying that those people should mourn the next day or not go to work or pick up arms against the perpetrators ... I am just saying that let's not be hypocritical about it ... and let's maybe .. slowly if it may .. do something about it !

The same goes for things like the begging racket that I came to see a side of today.

If all that we .. the 'educated' people can do about it is discuss it intellectually and criticize it .. then I guess a lot of those 21 odd years of our lives just went down the drain .. and then got their limbs chopped off.

I feel like such a loser.

Oh yeah ! and by the way .. the amount that the little kids owed the elder ones was 50 Rupees. I don't even get a fucking Iced Eskimo in that much !

The Man on the Moon

2007-05-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

Many a times, I have looked up in the night sky, looked at the moon and wondered ... What if there was a man sitting up there who had nothing else to do but to look down on earth and look at everybody. At the outset it may seem that I am talking about this 'god' person. But I am not. Reason : Going by the whole concept of the omnipresent , all -knowing god, he would already know what we would be doing and would do eventually and therefore he would not need to look at us !

Anyhow, back to the man on the moon. So this person has nothing else but to look at us (Don't ask me why). With the shit loads of people breeding and crawling on this planet, he would probably not have time or the attention span to look at everyone. I mean we all go through the same miserable routine of growing up, puberty, first kiss, first job, first heartbreak, first marriage (increasingly nowadays :D), shitty relative, rebellious kids, estrangement, death, etc. So all this being so mundane and common wouldn't really interest him. Even the special ones ... Charles Mansion, Nithari, Steve Jobs, etc. have become plenty over the thousands of years of human evolution, development and eventual self-destruction. So what I am trying to get at, is who exactly would he be watching ???

If you insist, I am talking about that thing which everybody wants (well ... mostly), to be remembered, to be noticed. But I'm not talking about the fame and legends that are made due to impressive acts of bravery, crime or foolishness, etc. What I am saying is, if we are alone in this universe (what freaks !!!), then all these things would really become ... well pointless. Thousands of years from now when this rock becomes lifeless thanx to our leisure's (optimistic estimate), when that man would sit next to his fireplace with a drink in his hand and gaze at the planet ... who would he remember ? The guy who made the ipod (nothing against apple here ... just an example) ? Or the nuts who flew an airplane into buildings mistaking them to be doors of nirvana ? Or the skinny guy wearing a dhoti and holding a stick who lead a country called India to freedom. ? Or was it the man who wrote a book that lead a whole race of followers to a nonsensical isolation from the rest of the world and at war with them ? Or was it that one who walked on water and got nailed to a cross by the same people who he thought he loved so much ?

Or was it the anonymous couple who loved each other to the limits ? Or was it the anonymous man who lived his life the best way he thought he could ?

I guess the man on the moon is really me when I'm taking my last breaths ... or maybe when I'm dead and my conscience is floating about aimlessly in limbo. What would i think about myself ? Would I have been able to see myself from the moon amongst everybody else ?

The answer to this I do not know.

Falling in love is hard on the Knuckles !

2007-05-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yes I am committed again ! And again .. this time it seems for good !

I met her through a friend of mine .. Animesh. He had been dating her for a while but now he didn't have enough time for her. Since I am not doing much till I join work, we thought it would be a good idea if I took her for a while ... till I start working.

It was pretty much love at first sight ! I had heard about her here and there but till now I hadn't had enough time and money to afford her ! But this time I got her cheap.

She's a bit old and outdated .. but then she's got loads of experience .. Lots of variety !

She is amazing ! The second day I went shopping and bought new stuff for her ... various different things I could put in her (damn ! very corny ! and a bit disghusting as well :D).

And for the last 4-5 weeks since I've had her ... I've done nothing else but play with her ! (This has potential of being very corny ! :D). I start at 9 in the morning ... and am spending time with her continuously till 5 PM ! And then we resume our activities in the night as well ! And not for a single moment do we get bored !

Although falling in love with her has been a bit hard on my knuckles .. and my fingers ... especially my thumbs .. as they tend to get a bit tired after a day of fondling and hand holding ... but still .. noone's minding !

She's the best .. I think every man should have her ... atleast for some time ! :D

Now i really didn't want to address it as feminine .. but then I didn't wanna sound gay as well ! :D

She's my PS 2 :D

The Big Fat Indian Wedding

2007-04-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

Celebrity weddings have always made big news. I have never understood people's obsession with the setups, the invitees, the dresses, the rings, which champagne was used, how many coloured flowers were there, what size were the biceps of the bodyguards and how many jobless mindless reporters were present to make it look like a fish market.

I mean face it people, you all may dream about it, but exactly 0.0000000034% of you will actually get to be a part of these weddings ... in any role whatsoever. And that's if you count the reporters as well. The rest of you will have those typical weddings where you try to be different by choosing that unique brownish red coloured cards and the taj mahal styling tents (WoW!). Yet exactly 67.8% of the people i know are just so stuck up on that Abhishek Bachchan - Aishwarya Rai wedding like it was theirs !!! Even my dad, who hardly watches anything substantial on television, was glued to the screen when the low down on the marriage was coming.

I can somewhat understand people's obsession with this couple ... after all u have a woman who probably appears in the wet dreams of most of the male population of this sex starved country and then this dude who's the son of the greatest actor who ever lived on the Indian silver screen (that's all the credit that i'm willing to give him so far... and oh well he acts O.K. so far). But what I just can't understand, is a half an hour special on the marriage ... on prime time television on the top Hindi news .. and yeah I'd like to repeat here ... NEWS channel !!!

The special covered the following events in very shallow detail :
- The groom's dad went to some famous temple to ask god for blessings for the new couple ... and he gave a wedding card .. yes I'd like to bold it again ... wedding card ... to God.
Makes you really wonder ... is god stupid ? I mean if he is the God then he must know that the wedding's going on and wouldn't really be needed to be invited for the wedding ! Quite clearly it's a very juvenile stunt for the cameras .. but hey ! who said common sense was in surplus nowadays !
- Who all the family is inviting and who all are the unluckiest people on the planet to have not been invited for the wedding. I mean Jeeez ! Was the girl who had cancer and then got raped at a hospital in Mumbai really so unimportant and real that they had to put this shit in the slot instead of her ? And It's obvious that the crippling electricity shortages, the farmers' suicides and the whole north east and eastern part of the country which is on the verge of a civil war is really not that consequential as compared to the fact that Shahrukh Khan is probably (mind it .. it's not confirmed .. it's just speculation) not invited for the wedding.
- Some 500 cops will be stationed around the venue.
Now that just infuriates me. I just think ... if these 500 cops could be actually patrolling a city ... and if they would actually be doing their job instead of siphoning money some way or the other to feed their already gargantuan bellies, then the crime in the city would be so much lesser. But then .. I'm just dreaming.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was the fact that this shit was coming on prime time national news. Damn ! I hope they kill some politician soon to get this crap off the air !

What's even worse .. i mean what takes the cake .. is that most people in the country of 1.2 billion people ... have nothing better to think about / talk about / watch / etc.

Fascinating !

I'm off to watch some movie now.

Drive me Crazy

2007-04-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

With the latest traffic laws coming into enforcement one really has to wonder what the next set are going to be like. Already talking on the handsfree and smoking while driving are prohibited. This really makes me question how capable or incapable do the law makers actually consider the drivers to be !

I mean the logic behind the handsfree is that there is too much distraction because of it. So let's see ... hmm... i wanna call Santa Claus ... so I'll pick up my phone ... look up on the road .. quickly unlock it and bring up the names starting with 'S' (since most people can do these things without actually looking at the phone) ... look down and confirm if it's on 'S' .. then get back to looking on the road ... then scroll down on the phone and in my memory ... then glimpse down on the phone to confirm if I'm pointing at the right number, then click 'dial' while looking up and then talk away and make my wishes and tell him what a nice boy i've been and that i've been keeping the toilet seat up ... all while having my eyes on the road !!!
All in all ... that musta taken me about 2-3 seconds max of focussing on the phone and not on the road and the traffic. But then ofcourse, one could give a very valid argument that the 2-3 seconds distraction could actually mean the difference between life and death. But then there are so many other things that can cause distractions for that crucial time !!! --- For starters, passengers should be banned from indulging in any kind of conversations with the driver .. even if it includes giving directions as such acoustic vibrations and distortions could mess with the driver's head and cause a pile up as long as the wall of china. Babies should be a strict no no as the driver may be forced to tend to the baby or the child while in the middle of the mission critical process called driving. Besides the cute toddlers may actually tempt the driver to look at them and smile thus causing a catastrophe. Basically, passengers of any kind should just be banned as anything they do (for example talk on the phone to a third person or sing) may cause a disturbance and thus a distraction for the driver.
Next, advertisements in the form of big boards, etc. should be banned as the pictures and the messages actually tempt the driver to look away from the road and focus on them thus again causing the 2-3 seconds fatal distraction.
Being a guy, I would also like to suggest to the courts to prohibit good looking women from walking on the sidewalks or anywhere in the proximities of 'driving zones' as they definitely take focus away from the road and life in general and also risk being picked up by the rapist gangs that patrol the roads more often than the cops.
... and that was just from the handsfree bit !!!

Smoking and driving is another story. I would just like to rest my argument with the fact that music systems should be banned as they have little buttons which require the driver (at times) to leave one hand from the steering wheel (watch out !) and press 'em. Also, all those guys who drive vehicles should have their balls cut off as they have a tendency to start itching at the wrong times and the wrong places and may, again, distract the driver's hands to indulge in some 'unhealthy activities'.

What I'm basically trying to drive at, is the fact that the courts should not insult the intelligence of the population as a whole and should consider them human beings with normally developed brains which are capable of handling minimal tasks simultaneously.

Secondly, they authorities should actually take a driving test for people rather than handing them out like chocolates for Rs. 500 a piece thus ensuring that the person would have enough cognitive abilities to manage chewing with the mouth closed at the same time.

The rest should be trusted upon free will and self regulation which generally rides on substantial rationality with a little acceptable exceptions without which the world would be a boring place and the car insurance companies would go bankrupt.

I'm sleepy ...

2007-03-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

Doctor : "Check his vitals to see if he's still alive !"
Nurse : "There's is not much activity doctor ... the pulse is barely there ... pupils are dilated ... and ... but but ... what's this ! it sounds like a ... like ... damn ! it sounds like he's snoring !"
Patient : ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [snore...]

P.S. : apologies if u didn't get it ... meant for a small audience :)

A Babel-y experience …

2006-11-24T08:54:00.000-08:00

I’d seen the movie Babel around a week ago here in Warsaw. I liked the movie … but it was more fun watching it here ! So first I’d talk about the experience and then the movie.

All Hollywood movies are played with polish subtitles in Warsaw (of course .. why wouldn’t they ?). But that was a slight problem for the only English speaking audience. 10 minutes in the movie, I was looking at my friend like we’d just spent 16 zlotys on lessons in a language whose name also we didn’t know ! 20 minutes into the movie … the lessons had turned multi ethnic and multi lingual ! 30 minutes into the movie .. it was a freakin’ global village in front of us and we were missing Arthur Dent to squeeze a Babel fish into our ear ! Halfway through the movie, we’d given up on one of our senses and were focusing only on visual contemplation.

Around 70-80 % of the movie happens to be either in Moroccan or Mexican or Japanese (I think). Only the rest in English. Now if I’d watch it back in India it would obviously not be a problem coz I’d have English subtitles. Here it was another story.

But the funny thing was … actually more surprising than being funny … that we still understood the whole movie ! And we didn’t just understand it … we loved it ! Call it great direction or acting or both … but even without understanding what’s being said, you could easily feel what the characters were going through !

Ofcourse there was still one point in the movie when we got extremely frustrated when a mute girl is using sign language … and there were still Polish subtitles !!! I mean c’mon !!!

Now to the movie. The message was very clear … but my interpretation was a little different. No matter who you are, whichever part of the world you may belong to, whichever culture or language … you are human. You feel like any other human. You struggle like any other human. And it was brought out beautifully in the movie. The best part I liked was the music and the photography. The background score, especially the guitar was simply touching.

My favorite scene in the movie is towards the end when they show the helicopter flying into the village from below … and the music … it’s like angles gliding down.

Anywayz, thanks to the movie we have another word of ‘mananamanana’ (a bit cryptic) or for situations when you meet someone / some people and you don’t understand the language … Babel ! :)

Shit Happens…

2006-11-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

One of the things common amongst all cultures (of my generation) that I noticed was the increasing clarity and therefore, humour on religion or popular ideologies. The following descriptions of various religions/ ideologies was given to me by Jack (his real polish name is beyond me) over some sheesha. Here are some of the ones I liked/ understood. If you Google on this you’d probably find more …

TAOISM : Shit Happens

CONFUCIANISM : Confucious say, “Shit Happens”

ZEN : What is the sound of shit happening ?

ISLAM : If shit happens , take a hostage.

COMMUNISM : Equal shit happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM : Shit happens because you are bad.

RIGHT – WING PROTESTANTISM : Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM : Why does shit always happen to us ?

ATHEISM : I don’t believe this shit !

EXISTENTIALISM : Shit doesn’t happen … shit IS !

BUDDISM : Shit happens, but pay no heed.

HINDUISM : This shit has happened before.

OBJECTIVISM : Our shit is good for you.

REAGANISM : Don’t move .. the shit will trickle down.

RASTAFARIANISM : Let’s smoke this shit ! :)

Disclaimer : My own view of religions, the one I was inherited in and the one I adopted later on … are also included in this list. This is merely a compilation from a bigger list. If I have missed out your religion and you feel offended by it … well shit happens ! If I have missed out your religion and you are happy about it … don’t worry … sooner or later … shit happens ! If I have included your religion and you feel offended by it … well read the subject line again ! You may think your religion may deserve more respect than others but I don’t. Besides, any religion should have a big enough heart to take some humour !!!

Back online ???

2006-11-24T08:51:00.000-08:00

The posting activity by the author of this blog has been … well to say the least … very confused ! Random posts have appeared and then later removed for absolutely mystic reasons.
The author would not like to apologise for that … only acknowledge it. :)

The author would further like to add that normal activity and senses are returning and so would the posting. This is due to the following two reasons in order of importance:

1. The author feels much better now … happier if you must.
2. The author’s blog appears as the third link on Google when queried for the author’s name and he strongly feels he should do something about it. :)

-End of transmission-

Budddddday post !

2006-11-22T11:26:00.000-08:00

well it's my birthday eve ... so i was just trying to recall all the birtdays I could remember. I was ... and still am quite shocked !
Out of the 22 such apparently 'most important days' that have passed, i could just remember 2 !!!
Ok let's discount the first 2-3 buddays on the reason that I was probably too young to understand and remember them. But after that ... there is no reason that I shouldn't have !

The first one that I remember happened sometime when i was around 10 (See ... i don't even remember the date !!!). There was a kiddy birthday party at our house. There were lots of little kids. We all had them cone shaped birthday hats. We played musical chairs. Then I cut the cake and everyone sang them birthday songs. Then we all ate some cake and chips and patties and had some coke. I recieved lots of gifts ... but I don't remember any of them. Then i gave them return gifts and they all went back home by 10.

The second one was last year. It was in MDI. It's the sweetest birthday that I'll remember for the rest of my life probably.

Well this year there's nothing much to look forward to. It'll be the usual. SSDD.

I don't get it what's the big deal about birthdays anyway ! It's just any other day. I don't even remember being born ... I was just told I was born this day ! Just an excuse to party though :) But out here in Poland even that's a commodity !

Anywayz ... happy birthday to me ;)

Wake me up when september ends ...

2006-11-20T00:14:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd start embedding some videos i've been making here in Poland. To start off with it, here's a little test.

It's one of my old favorites ... just discovered it again on youtube.

Freebird ...

2006-11-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

Recieved a mail a couple of days back ... this is what it said.

If i leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me ?
For I must be travelling on, now
'Cause there's too many places, I've gotta see

But if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, Bye, babe it's been sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it so badly,
'Cause lord knows I'm to blame.

But if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
and this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Live version here and album version here

Vampires and Warewolves

2006-11-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

A couple of days ago i was introduced to the Monsters Game 4 by a source I do not seem to remember right now. I seems like a really interesting online game.

You choose to be either a vampire or a warewolf. You have certain attributes such as strength, agility, defense, stamina, etc. You have to earn gold coins to do anything either by working in the graveyard or by raiding a town of innocent victims or you can loot them by attacking a warewolf.

I was introduced to strategy games by Red Alert (see previous posts) and I instantly fell in love with them. The fact that it's a battle of grey cells rather than hand-eye coordination appealed to me the most. It basically gives me more people to challenge ;).

The game's pretty appealing at first. But just like Red Alert ... it turned out to be a simple game of numbers. Once you figure out the investment in a move, it's possible payback and the variable risk, the game turns black and white. It being a browser game is much more simpler than Red Alert. So the novelty or the mystery of the game is already lost for me. All that remains is probably the ego of being on top. Which'll take no less than a year I suppose.

If anyone's interested in checking it out ... here's the link.

Carpe Diem

2006-11-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

Was forwarded this quote by monkey today ... really liked it ...
It's from Dead Poet's Society .. I guess I need to watch that movie ;)

They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

A ‘pinch’ of Brown

2006-10-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

Till now I’d read a lot about racial discrimination. About apartheid. About the ‘blacks’. About the ‘dalits’. About the ‘untouchables’. About the great leaders who tried to fight it. About wars. About various genres of music being inspired in slave ghettos.

I’d seen movies like American History X showing a side of the white supremists. I’d read about some of them ‘punks’ here in Poland with their haircuts and swastika tattoos, etc.

But finally when I came face to face with racial discrimination … it was in the form of a sweet looking girl not much older than I am. We went to this restaurant to have dinner … 5 Indians. We sat and ordered whatever we could understand. We were just sitting and talking like any other human being in the place. Then this sweet looking girl comes up to us and asks us “Where are you from ?”.

We reply normally, “India”.
She asks “You’re a long way from home … how come ?”.

We tell her how we’re in Poland and that we’re just traveling in her city.

Then all a sudden ... the sweet smile changed into devilish grin. “Well you chose the wrong country to come !”

Puzzled, we ask, “why do you say that ?”
With contempt in her eyes she answers back, “ because you are not welcome here”

Still confused with why suddenly the world was shifting under our feet, we ask her, “why ?”
And that’s when it hits us when she says very matter of factly with a remorseless smile, “Because you’re brown”.

Whatever happened after that is not worth mentioning. To say the least after a little more conversation we just left the place … with our prides hurt.

The very next emotion that hits you after experiencing something like that is anger. Immense, uncontrollable, irrational and scorching anger. Your mind races, it replays that moment again and again in order to understand what just happened and seeks to answer why the hell … why ? I mean we had done nothing wrong. Beneath our Brown skin we were like just any other mortal sitting under that roof having a meal just like anyone else. And still we were not welcome. Still we had to gather the pieces of our shattered egos and prides and walk away. Irrational. And exactly that is the reason why we shouldn’t have. We try to fool ourselves to believe that we should’ve stayed there and ‘stood by our rights’ only to have been more brutally demeaned later on. Anger.

That night it was just so difficult to sleep. Lying in bed, the transition from a smile to those contemptuous eyes kept reappearing again and again. A big question mark kept knocking on my forehead with a hammer. Finally, somewhere in the midst of a million thoughts and feelings, I drifted away …

The next morning was much calmer. My brain more rational. I re-winded to time since we came here. I met all those nice people again. Normal people. I realized that this was just one bad incident. One in a million that I’d had so I shouldn’t be bothered. I remember reading about the little fraction of people who were like that.

And then I miss home. I remember not remembering a single incident in my country where some white or black or brown or small eyed or big nosed human being was told that he was not welcome. Sure we do harass people … probably for their money or probably some really horny Indian touches a white woman in a place where he shouldn’t have … but then they’re still all welcome. They’re still not told to leave. Sure we may have racial discrimination within our country …. But then that’s here as well ! I don’t understand for what reason the western countries call themselves great while belting out such humiliation to people on the other hand. Yes I am hurt. Still. I know it’ll get better. I know I’ll meet more people here who’ll gradually erase this bad memory. But the lesson still remains. The comparison will still stand tall with my country’s shadow on the others. My respect for my country still increases.

Of course one of my other brown friends also experienced a similar incident … but chuck it.

Thinking about it more rationally. You realize how insecure these people are. Someone’s not welcome in your house only when you consider him in some way a threat. Now whatever the reason may be … superstitious and irrational, religious, economical or whatever … these people just show their insecurity.

Anywayz … I’ve overturned this experience on its head as everything has a good side to it as well.

Moreover, as someone with a more progressive thinking I realize the kind of difference that exist and the cross cultural gaps that need bridging. One realized the kind of challenges facing the third rock from the sun from becoming a whole. One appreciates the efforts of people like Nelson Mandela and countless others in history for fighting something so arbit and irrational and yet so strong. One realizes the greatness about being brown.

Wait for me

2006-10-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

A beautiful song by an Indian Band.

The website is a must visit and you can download their songs from there as well.

Here's a sampler ... wait for me

All around me I see light I see the darkness in full flight
All around me, when I touch your face You fly away like the butterflies

Into the night, into the light You never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine Please won't you wait for me

Surrounded in smoke and sound
In clouds of dust I go and drown
In the distance you run again
You scream out loud just turn around

And you wait for me For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me

Running in the sand, like a free bird
All that you wanted
And you're coming in to land
To fly away again
Into the sand
And you're drowning in the sea
You're alive and you're free
And from the mountains
You will fall but you won't crawl
Never again never again

You my moon
You kiss the waves goodbye
You show your same face to me
Crying, yet so free
And you wait for me
For I couldn't see
you never wait for me
Into the night of sunshine
Please won't you wait for me

Flight of ecstacy

2006-09-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

That's how my first flight was :)

not because of the service ... Turkish airlines service is really crappy and the cabin crew is pathetic. It was because of the thrill of being 10,400 m in the air and cruising at 840 km/h !!!

The take off is the best part of the whole experience. You're sitting nicely in your seat when all of a sudden there's this huge force and u start accelerating ... 50km/h ... 100 km/h ... 300 km/h ... and then just take off !! All of that just in some 10-15 seconds !!! Fast cars are a fantasy of the past now for me. It's the skies now that I wanna zoom in !

After climbing to around 10,000 meters it's just a completely different world up there. Walking around in some serene landscape with waterfalls and streams and lush greenery etc. etc. like they show in wall paintings is one thing. Zooming around in mammoth but so still as those wall sceneries is something completely different. It's a very humbling experience of sorts as well. Each cloud is a gigantic island in themselves ... yet they float so calmly over the skies.

I dunno about someone else ... but i thought they were very beautiful !

Here's some pictures as taken from my window :)

feels like you can just walk on them :)

flying into the sunset

My new phone :)

2006-09-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Due to the sad demise of my previous, Nokia 1100, I have just purchased a new Motorola L6. The 1100 was washed and rinsed thoroughly in the washing machine as someone forgot to take it out of the pocket before putting the shorts in for washing.

But thanx to that .. I have this beauty now :)

T minus 16 days and counting

2006-09-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

Counting very fast at that !

Now that I've come back home from college, I feel as clueless as Alice in Wonderland.

I have this danting feeling that I have to do a lot .. but just don't know what !

I know I'm leaving in 16 days ... But I haven't even made a single checklist till now. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem if I was just going down to Ooty. But this is Poland ! And I'm staying there for 90 days exactly ! I think I should start making atleast a rough list rather than sitting on the net and typing away arbit stuff... But then that wouldn't be even half the fun :)

I have finally decided to not travel to the schengen countries. There are a few reasons for it but money being the main one. I just don't wanna spend more than 50k travelling for just 10 days in Europe. For my mind it just doesn't make sense that I'm taking so much money from my folks just for travelling and that too just 10 days. I think I can make that trip later as well.

But that doesn't mean that I won't travel at all ! Surely I'll travel to every nook and corner that Poland has to offer. And then I'll go skiing and mountain climbing :)

I really don't know the kind of people that are coming with me to Poland. One seems spaced out, one seems too serious and one I just don't know. I'm sure they're all pretty nice people ... But I just don't know. And they're nice doesn't mean we'll gel.

All said and done, there's one reason that's really holding me back from going. I just don't feel like leaving when some people are here. (It's crappy)

But nonetheless, the countdown has begun ... :)
I think i'll start making a list now :)

End of a term – beginning of an era

2006-09-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

I’m not trying to sound very dramatic and profound here. I’m just stating what I feel.

The fourth term ended two days ago. My second… fourth term. But it was more than just that for me. So much has happened now that it’s just impossible to put in here and merely undermine it. Beginning of an era would just be mildly putting it.

I don’t wanna count my chickens before they hatch so I won’t say anymore. But all I wanna say is that I’m glad that I did it again.

When I just couldn't sleep ...

2006-08-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

Tonight (or last night) was the first night after coming to MDI when I just couldn't sleep !

Mainly 3 things on my mind...
1. Work
2. RA
3. (has to remain undisclosed due to the varied readership of this blog)

First I just kept planning what all I have to do over the next few days. How I have to plan my work. blah blah blah
Then I just couldn't get those tanks and those damn ore trucks out of my mind. That's the problem with playing an RTS ... there are so many possibilites that u just keep exploring ... just keep planning engineer rushes or tanya attacks or just keep building TANKS !!!
Ofcourse then there was this bit of anxiety .. uncertainity.

Anywayz the point is that I just don't like this. I love sleeping nowadays. Anything that keeps me away from that unnecassarily is simply not welcome ! But so twisted is the human mind that it just keeps on ticking even when u are screaming at it to stop.

Sometimes I seriously wish I could take my brain out of my head and keep it in the cupboard while I go to sleep ... But then I wudn't get those nice dreams ... :)
(life's always a trade off ... just like RA ;))

so much to say ...

2006-08-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

and so much to hide !

2006-07-24T20:55:00.000-07:00

Lollakutti was drumming her fingers restlessly on the table. She looked around nervously for a hint but couldn't get even a wiff of what it was. A few around her were as nervous and clueless as she was. Finally after a few minutes of wait the guy behind her kicked her seat just slightly. Then with exact precision a sheet was passed on to her containing all the answers to calculating the COCOMO of the case given. This was a mid term exam. Ofcourse the invigilator didn't see a thing. But then he wasn't looking was he ?

Halfway through our mid terms we received a mail from our elected representatives saying that someone from the batch had gone and complained to tyrant that there was rampant cheating going on in the exams and they would be helpless now incase anyone got caught.

This brings a few very interesting points to light.

Firstly ... It goes on to reflect the unity in the batch. The future managers of the country ... or let's be a bit modest .... tomorrow's multinational's middle managers are definitely gonna be a backstabbing lot ! (hopefully only some :))

Secondly .... It highlights the benefits of having relative grading. I mean when you know what grade you get is largely gonna depend upon what everybody else gets (why ???), ofcourse you're gonna try to cheat and write atleast what everybody else is writing in the exam. And it is a logical conclusion that someone who's not cheating would not appreciate other people who didn't study as much getting ahead or equal to him by just making some sly efforts in the exam.

Thirdly .... This is human nature ! Unlike our tyrants, I don't quite live in a utopian society so I realize that wherever there are 40 odd students in the room writing an exam, there's bound to be some who will feel like sharing their information with someone and other's who'd gratefully accept it. There's cheating even withouh RG ... It is highly unlikely that there wouldn't be some with it !

Lastly ... it shows how tyranny justs gets worse ! Instead of realizing that the grading system is cheating-inducing, that the invigilators are sleeping and at times even allowing rampant cheating in the exam, that if 40 year old NMP students cheat in exams then it is brilliantly stupid to expect 20 somethings not to, that basically there should be better methods of evaluation ... the tyrants simply put stricter punishments and reexams.

As for me , I didn't cheat in the exams. I'm sure lolakutti got the same answer as me and would end up getting the same marks and grade as well. I think it's just about preperation. If I hadn't prepared .. then probably I would've been tempted to cheat as well. But even then I would've thought ... Is it worth it ???

"I was thrown ot of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me " - Woody Allen

Red Alert !

2006-07-18T00:37:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for computer games.

From the days of those little hand-held pixelled tetris pads came ... I've been jabbing my fingers at various game consoles for all I can remember.

Arkanoid, Pacman, bomberman ... then came prince of persia ... and then finally ... Wolfenstein !!! It was a small step for man but a giant leap for MeKind ! The thrill of shooting rockets and all kinds of out of this world weapons at other was simply too good to resist. Since then the waepons have just got more destructive. The graphics have just gone better. The blood and guts have gone more detailed. The aggression has just multiplied ... the violence has just increased.
And I love it !! :)
Multiplayer gaming brought on another realm ... killing other humans in virtual reality ! I don't know how people feel when they kill someone in reality. But killing someone in a first person shooter gives you an amazing amount of satisfaction. So there was a spate of 3D games getting closer and closer to reality like Doom, Quake, Unreal Tournament and the works.

Finally came the combination of skill, graphics, tactics and everything else you could dream of ... Counter Strike !

But now ofcourse my gaming instincts have pretty much taken the back seat. Priorities have changed quite a lot.. But then came an offer which I simply couldn't refuse. Application of Game Theory to business.

I won't go into the details but the jist is simply this ... learning game theory through computer strategy games. Therefore came red alert.

I've always been averse to strategy games. I considered too slow for my taste. But after trying out red alert I can testify that this is not so. Strategy games can get pretty fast. And they require a lot more thinking that simple predictive shooting. You have to constantly analyze the situation and plan your course of action. It's all about strategy :). And best of all ... you can be extrememely creative in this.

I would say that I've pretty much fallen in love with the game. So for a while .. whenenver we can .... RedAlertenge !

Remember when you were young ...

2006-07-16T15:30:00.002-07:00

One of the very few guys that I've ever respected in life ...

Someone so poetic and thoughtful as his music just passed away. Probably just another statistic for some ... but death of a legend for me ...

I'll just reproduce the song that Pink Floyd (another legend) wrote for him after he was asked to leave the band due to excessive intoxication and antics.

A beautiful song ... Shine on you Crazy Diamond ...
Remember when you were young,
you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Nowthere's a look in your eyes,
like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger,
you legend, you martyr,and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon,
you cried for themoon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened byshadows at night,
and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver,
you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner,and shine!
Nobody knows where you are,
how near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers and I'll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we'll bask in the shadow
of yesterday's triumph,
and sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child,
you winner and loser,
come on you miner for truth and delusion,and shine!

You'll always shine on .. syd

Holy Wars !

2006-07-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Brother will kill brother
Spilling blood across the land
Killing for religion
Something I don’t understand …

A high powered song by Megadeth … captures clearly my bafflement and anger.

For me … religion is the single most evil prevalent in the world today. Moreover, if I really had to point a finger at someone, I’d do that in every possible way at them goat-slaughtering prophets. Call me narrow minded, illiterate, dumb or even psychotic for committing the crime of stereotyping … I don’t care! When it comes to imagining evil I see a huge army of devils masquerading as religious crusaders and I see Islamism riding on horses and leading the pack of doom and destruction.

Probably another mumbaiker who lost a loved one in bomb blasts or a mother who lost her son in 9-11 will understand how I feel. Others, I know, will simply ridicule. I just want to highlight one point here … if anybody would do a google search on terrorism and terrorist attacks (which is a global crises now ... bigger than even global warming) … the word jehad would come written all over on the screen. If you’d search on most wanted or feared terrorists, islam would be the theme which would emerge as the most common amongst them.

Now this is not a hate-passage on islam or anything like that. It’s not like I hate them. I perfectly understand that they are humans just like me. It’s not a particular religion that I hate at all. It’s the whole concept of religion as it exists today that I detest. Jehadis , I believe, are merely the most gullible and dumb humans of all. Religion has been the tool used to disillusion, gather and move the masses for other’s vested interests ever since the dark ages. It has infact tainted god or His image atleast in my eyes (if it all …. But then that’s another story). The crusades are the earliest example I can think of where power hungry kings used to send armies of hypnotized devouts to kill each other so they could expand the lines on their maps. Even now the main motive remains the same, it’s just that the weapons have gotten more destructive and the aftermath uglier.

It’s like a drug … this religion. And a very lethal one at that. It first shows you flowers and happiness and the promised land. You get attracted towards it like moths towards a scorching bulb. Soon you are hypnotized and are willing to do anything in the name of God as presented by the man standing on the altar swinging a book. Even kill. Thankfully in most urban areas people have found enough material distractions to make them feel happy that’s why many have grown disenchanted with the religion disease (point is debatable but definitely not shun able).

I don’t want to get into the debate on God HisSelf right now. Although I’d say this much that it is a beautiful concept. The path to nirvana is actually quite true as is preached in the name of god under religion. But the name of God is being grossly misused.

I don’t know how much sense I’ve been able to make out here. That’s because emotions are mostly leading my fingers rather than structured thoughts. In the end I’d just like to say that I think that the onus is upon the more sensible islamists themselves. Today they face the danger of being stereotyped and branded overall as extremists. This could especially spell disaster for the millions of innocent islamists that live as minorities in non Islamic countries. It is upto these left brain oriented people to stop their own from this mass terror and destruction.

As for me … sometimes when I see some conspicous fellow wearing a small white cap … a thought does cross my mind … it goes … does he respect my country ? does he respect my right to live ? is he a human first and then a muslim or the other way ?

Killing in the name

2006-07-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

Killing in the name of
Some of those that were forces … are the same that burnt crosses

Once again Mumbai was shaken by multiple – well planned blasts.
Once again the resilient Mumbai-ites came together in the name of humanity.
Once again life has returned back to normal immediately the next day.
Once again there will be another series of blasts … people will die … world leaders will condemn … families will be scarred … terrorism will be victorious !

I completely agree with, and appreciate, the resilience and spirit of Mumbai so to speak (although the same can be extended to the whole country). But somehow I don’t agree with the follow up.

It has become some sort of a cycle … there’s a terrorist attack … people die … there’s worldwide hue and cry … some people are arrested afterwards … people feel safer … and then it happens again. The only thing that changes is that the terrorist organizations become stronger and so do the intensity of the attacks.

I simply don’t understand how these disgraces on humanity can actually manage to survive and flourish in face of the whole ‘worldwide war against terrorism’ going on. Somewhere down the line get a feeling maybe it’s just propaganda. There’s state sponsored / organized terrorism (or genocide) happening everywhere in the world, it’s just that some are elevated to the status of ‘fight for democracy’ while some get the branding of terrorism.

Those who die are justified, for wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they’re the chosen whites

I don’t think I need to list the atrocities people have gone through the world over in the name of democracy. Crimes are being committed against humanity the world over everyday by countries and they are not being crucified ! There’s a stone pelt here and there but jets still drop bombs on civilians. This is what I think that’s unfair. Why should one group be allowed to massacre while the other is condemned ? Why should some people who die be victims for while others, equally innocent, be called casualties ?

Point is that there’s propaganda everywhere. Either in the name of religion or in the name of democracy or in the name of territory. Humans are basically plain stupid. They fall for one while they denounce the other. What they don’t see through is the vested interests. What they fail to realize is the absurdity of the methods which are the same in all. What they don’t feel, is the pain of another human being in each of these.

Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me

I just wish people had enough power to stand up for what’s wrong and enough sense to see what’s right. I just wish they would stop being hypocritical and accusing only sheep of having a herd mentality.

I think weapons are simply useless. They’re the worst creation of mankind. They’re like mankind’s Frankenstein. I think that as soon as possible, we should do away with them one way or another. Either we just use them all on one another and finally fulfill the reason why they were created for … or we just dump them in the sea or something. I simply don’t see the point in stacking them up. All that happens is that there’s a leak and they fall in the wrong hands. (from one monkey to another).

In a closing note … Rage against the machine rocks !!!

Billions of Fortresses

2006-07-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a shocking day for me.

I got down from my house with my folks to leave back for college. As soon as I sat in the car I realised that the stereo wasn't there ! I had sat in the car just the previous day and over the night it had disappeared !

What was even more shocking than realizing that it had been stolen was the fact that the car was parked right in front of the place where the colony guard is supposed to sit !

Now things get stolen everyday from people so I guess it's not that big a deal for anybody. But this was the first time anything had been stolen from us (and hopefully the last time). It's a very humbling feeling of sorts in many ways.

I mean we spend our lifetimes in trying to secure ourselves. We get educated to have a secure future. We buy all kinds of locks and security alarms for our houses. We graduate from bikes to cars for a safer ride. Infact we enter social circles and make friends, etc. in order to secure our needs for belonging and ego. We basically try to build this cocoon around us and lock ourselves in it ... victims of our own insecurity
........ And then all it takes is enough will or hunger of some other individual(s) who take something away from us and make us realise just how penetrable and vulnerable we really are.

It's not just stealing. A wayward comment is sometimes all it takes to make us feel vulnerable and shatter our defence mechanisms.

What's more interesting is that once the feeling of security gets breached, we retract further into our shells and put up more and more layers around us. (we just got an automatic security alarm installed in the car). We become more aggerssive or submissive. But the detachment increases nonetheless. People become more and more suspicious of strangers and even friends and relatives. It's like visiting a posh colony in urban Delhi where people live in there well equipped palaces and are either oblivious or suspicious of anybody else.

Ofcourse we don't live in a utopian world so I can't think of any possible solution for this dichotomy. Moreover I haven't reached the echelons of spirituality where I can shun away materialism and relationships to feel blissful secuirty. I guess what is possible in such a case is to prioritise. I'm not implying a preplanned ranking of everything with worst case scenarios and the works. Real time assesment shall suffice.

Hyperdrive !

2006-07-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

That's exactly how life feels in right now. Hyperdrive.

classes ... prereads... quizzes... mid terms on the head... competitions ... phew !

I didn't concern myself with any of these last time around so it's a completely new experience ...
pleasant or unpleasant i can't decide.

But thanx to all this what's taken a backseat is my keeping in touch with important people.

Now i'm just waiting for end terms to get over so I can get mailing again ! :)

People are strange ...

2006-06-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces seem ugly when you're alone ...

And so sang Jim Morrisson. (i'm gonna take the song a bit out of context)

Sometimes I really wish I had studied psychology instead of computer science.
There are so many instances that I come across where I am simply unable or incapable of understanding the behavior of people, indicudually and in a group. That's a very frustrating feeling. Here you are ... watching someone or some people acting in some way you simply can't comprehend. My interpretation is simply of bemusement. To me it seems just ridiculous.

Just today the induction of my second junior batch got over. It was quite funny to see people behave quite differently from how I'd seen them or come to expect them to behave. Suddenly compassionate people turned cold. Indifferent people turned driven towards a cause of keeping the juniors awake endlessly. Non existent people were suddenly vying for even the smallest piece of limelight they could hog on to. The ostracised turned preachers.

It's quite funny, the whole thing. I can say that because I was quite detached from the whole phenomenon myself. But the one motivation or characteristic that stood to be the common factor among all these anomolies was attention seeking.

It's not too difficult to understand really. I mean here's a batch of 180 some people who know nothing about you as of now. You wanna break free from the cliche' you've been carved into by your peers over the last year. You wanna make an impression. You wanna impress the opposite sex. Basically pretty juvinile.

I would've probably expected a batch of to-be managers with some 2-3 years of work experience to act more maturely. Namely to be above all this. But it's not so.

I can critque this because as I've said earlier, I've been pretty detached this time. I don't remember much of how I was the last time around. Maybe I was juvinile too. Altough I do remember being detached the last time around as well, but then there are always varying perceptions.

The point I'm trying to make is ... is based pretty much upon my experience only. It's what I realize that when I try to assume myself to be behaving that way ( I can only assume as my memory fails me here ) ... I feel very stupid if I had. But then I find it very justifiable and excusable as well. Maybe Freud was right after all.

By the way while writing this i happened to read the lyrics of People are strange more contemplatively ... and I think the poet's words deserve a mention here in full.

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces seem ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Wome seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
Noone remembers your name
When you're strange

Guilt Trip ...

2006-06-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

The induction time is here once again.
A batch of 180 seniors make their 180 some juniors go through 3-4 sleepless days of humiliation and tension. I have not been able to find a rational justification for this institute - sponsored ragging yet but like herd mentality I have been a part of it for second year in a row.

So there I was ... shouting at those 'juniors', most of whom are proably atleast 2-3 years older than me. I had imagined it would be some sort of ego cum power trip to stand on the podium and tell them not to sleep or not to cross talk or to take things seriously, etc etc. But at the end of it I felt quite numb. There was no ego trip, no pride and no overwhelming sense of power or joy. If there was anything, there was a nagging question ... Why did I do it ?

But the overwhelming sense of guilt did not come from that. It happened during the 'interviews'.

It's not very easy to put oneself in her shoes ... but i'll try anyways. She hadn't slept for more than 40 hours or so. She was utterly confused about what was happening around her. Things were moving very fast. Every once in a while some seniors came and shouted at the whole batch. A couple of hours back some foreigners had given a very arbit presentation about some colleges she's never heard of. Then they'd gotten mad and walked off and here she was giving an interview for an exchange program she had no clue about, let alone be interested in it.

For us .. she was just the last 'candidate'.

So here we are .. four of us sitting in a room at 4 in the morning. She walked in and sat down. We had decided to take a stress interview. And hence it began ... the endless row of questioning, cross questioning, ordering, embarassment ...

At that moment even I was not feeling any remorse or concern for that poor soul. We had come to a moment in the interview when all four of us were laughing at her as she sat there confused and slightly embarassed but still smiling.

And then it happend ...

In the smiling and answering back and trying to defend her very existence, she cracked and suddenly burst into tears. We were speechless. I was shocked. I was embarassed at myself. The damage, even though only temporary, had been done to her self esteem.

I mean here I was looking at her CV and admiring the things she'd done. A very sweet looking woman who comes from a smaller town than mine. Her resume speaks at leangth about her ambitions and dreams and what all she's accomplished. And I along with 2 others ( one really didn't say anything ) had virtually broken her down to the extent she had to cry in front of 4 strangers.

It's very hard to come over this kind of guilt. A guilt caused by my own stupidity.

Anyways we've decided to take her out for luch and apologise for the nth time ... It may not be enough or necassary .. but nonetheless.

I know she'll probably never read this , but VJ .. I'm really really sorry.

Thank you sLiPkNoT !

2006-06-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

It's back !!!

I had been feeling very imcomplete lately.
It's like some life force was missing. Some passion.

I sincerely believe that there's one particular thing that always keeps one going. Something other than work ... ambition ... power ... blah blah. Something that you require regularly in doses. For some it's family. For some it may be painting. Hobby wouldn't be the exact way to put it. Whatever it may be termed ... I know for me it's music.

It's a perfect harmony (well created music that is). It's the symbolism for creativity, synchronization, intelligence, emotions and the works.

I had lost it for some time off late. Music had gone into the background. It had been not able to appreciate it. I had become detached.

But .... now it's back. And what brought it back ?
sLiPkNoT !!!

It was duality actually. Now it's rage against the machine, coldplay .... they're all gradually coming back . I know some people may not wanna call slipknot music ... well ... balls !!!

Home Sweet Home

2006-06-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

It's true that it's damn hot here and even a single night at home in the ac is much welcome. It is also true that I had a lot of unwashed clothes and it is much easier to haul them back home and get them washed and ironed rather than get it done here by myself.

But more than any of those reasons, I feel it was just good to be home for a day. After what's happened home may not be the same, but it's still much better than here. It's still the place you can feel loved and comfortable.

"Country roads ... take me home ..."

Victimization or Legitimate action ?

2006-06-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Just last night I was kidnapped by a professor. He went on lamenting about his 'those' days when he used to be young. It was irrelevant mostly. But a few times in the middle of the conversations, or the monolouge, he claimed that he admired me. Naturally I asked him why. His reason was that I had been victimized and still I was strong.

Victimized ?
Apparently the 'gods' in the upper echelons of power had decided that the mortal MBAs were taking life not so seriously. The Gods feared that the mortal MBAs had started believing (or realizing) that most of what they were doing was simply over-hyped nonsense. They feared that the kids were loosing their capabilities of respect.
They wanted to make an example out of someone. They wanted to send ripples in the community (I'm quoting him). They wanted to find a scapegoat who was very popular and very happy. To their pleasure, they found me ! To make their jobs even easier, I was an open rebel as well. So one day the gods sat in their high thrones, they decided that conformation had to be re-instated. And thus they passed this decree. To hold me back that is.

Now I choose not to believe him. It would be very easy to believe the romanticized and tragic version of the antihero and thus let the impact on me fade away. The above story would be a dangerous hypothesis for me for it would put the blame in hands other than mine.

Not that I am obsessed with claiming the blame. It's just that I would be much better off in believing that it was legitimate action enforced on a misdirected soul. That it was necassary by rule. Then I would have something to prove.

As they say
When in rome ...

Phoenix !

2006-06-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back at MDI.

All the anticipation, anxiety, dread and excitement has come to an end. A very subtle one at that.

You come back and see the same hallways, the same rooms, the same chairs and tables ... but the people are not there. I guess the foundation of every memory is the people in it. It's what you cherish u did with other people rather than where you were or what you did with other people. Once the people are gone, the place haunts. I think that's it. Right now the same halls, the same rooms and the same chairs seem strange. They seem scary. But it could probably be because of the bad experience attached to it as well. I don't know the main reason, but I miss the people.

I might be too dramatic here, but this is how I feel ...

It's like going back to a battlefield. You've been there before. You've lost some friends. You've had some good times there before. You've had some shitty ones. Now you're back. You're all alone this time. You have some unfinished business to take care of. You can't turn back. It's the same place but there's something different about it this time. It's probably just the air. Or the colour of the leaves. But you can't put your finger on it. You're in a new team. There's no comarderie here. You're carrying excess baggage. You have to carry it alone. There are a lot of hopes riding on you. There's no giving up. You have to carry on. You have to rise through the ashes like a phoenix.

(well i'm just pepping myself up ;))

The ant and the grasshopper

2006-06-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

Got this among the FLOOD of mails that I recieve in the mail about pro and anit reservation (thanks to Orkut enabled spamming). But this was kinda better than the rest so I am putting it here.

ONCE UPON A TIME …

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

THE MODERN VERSION...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others arec old and starving.

BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper.

Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh"in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Bush Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony voered by BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".

Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly

Got The Answer...???

YES... You Got It Right...

Some call it RESERVATION n some call it QUOTA!

8:30s ? Nahhhhh !

2006-06-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

Yes !!!

I have very good news (for myself).

Just recieved my Time Table for the 4th term ... and there is not even a single 8:30 AM class in my schedule !!!! (maybe there is a God up there)

What's even better is that most days my classes start from 12 !!! Just one day do I have a 10:15 class. (well ok ... most probably there is a God then :))

In fact my Time Table's so beautiful that I shall put it's picture up here !

Now i know I shouldn't get to happy and relaxed about it 'coz I have a lotta things to do .. but still ;)

Back to FIFA !!!

AAAARgghhhhhhh !!!

2006-06-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

That's the scream out of frustration, agony and helplessness that I let out everytime my computer shuts down unexpectedly due to overheating.

This is an open declaration to the world and especially to my computer.

I am gonna beat the #@!!*%## shit out of you after a year !!!

That is probably an understatement of what'll be coming your way when I'll be done with u. I am already saving up money to buy a sledgehammer, a chainsaw, a blow torch and all the ancient chinese torture machines that I can gather.

Your end is near u damn computer ... HooHaaHaa HooHaaHaa (Dr. Evil laugh) :)

Unmasking the truth !

2006-06-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

It has been rumored for quite a while now. People claim to have seen it but no one has ever had decisive evidence to prove it.
Finally I have found conclusive evidence ... a testimony to the hideous truth !!
In a recent shot which can be found on Google, I have discovered the hidden truth … the truth behind the man …

Well ok enough of drama … just highlight the picture like you'd highlight some text and see for yourself …

And you thought all along ….

T minus 4 days …

2006-06-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

On Board Computer ………..check
Life Support ………..check
Packing ………..check
Capcom ………..check
Third stage boosters ………..check
Morale ………..check
Navigation systems ………..check
Books ………..check
Landing gear ………..check
Gyros ………..check
Psyche ………..check
AI systems ………..check
Autopilot ………..check
Objectives ………..check

All systems Go.
Houston … we are Go for launch.

Criticism of the ‘high life’ … journalism, jealousy or just sensationalism?

2006-06-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

The rich and famous of the country have been a lot in the news lately … but for all the wrong reasons. Fardeen khan being caught with drugs … Shakti Kapoor’s casting couch ... Salman Khan going after the wrong buck ... and now Rahul Mahajan going down on a dangerous cocktail of drugs. These incidents have lead to a national debate of ridiculous proportions on how dangerous the ‘high life’ is becoming. Fashion designers and models and made to sit in front of spiritual gurus and decaying sociologists and debate about the perks and perils of the high life.

I think the debate is perfectly just. Definitely the ell effects of drugs and so called ‘bad-company’ should be discussed and brought out in the open to prevent people from getting into them. I’ve been through such things so I agree even more. But what I don’t agree with is it’s restriction to just the ‘high lifers’. I mean it’s not like only the rich and famous do drugs or meet prostitutes or get into trouble. One should go to places like under the ISBT bridge and you’ll find scores of poverty stricken kids who don’t have money to buy food but still manage to procure some weed. I probably know more college kids and junkies who scrape off every cent of their pocket money they can manage to get another hit than there are celebrities in this country. In every department of trouble in which the celebrities end up, there are probably millions of ‘low lifers’ or ‘medium lifers’ who out do them.

That’s why I wonder. Why the debate about just the rich and famous indulging in deadly sins ? Don’t the not so privileged end up in similar fates, although just cheaper ones ? I’ve never seen a special edition prime time debate because Raju from the Begumpur slums was shot dead in a drunken brawl over a line of cocaine. Such things make one question the exact intentions behind this entire ruckus.

Is it actually the result of professional journalism ? I beg to differ.

Discussing such things allows the channels to put models and the likes on the air while they show images of page 3 parties on the split screen. (maybe they should just convert to page 3 popcorn channels).
Interviewers relentlessly question the celebrities on their moral values and try to get some gossip out of them. (can they put their hand on the Geeta or Quran or the bible and swear to have been pure all their lives ?)
Sociologists and spiritual gurus go into a trance while defending and preaching utopia while the celebrities narrate hard facts of life. (can they really be compared)

What it all ends up being is simply a copy of the tabloids … mud slinging on celebrities … privacy issues … etc etc

It would be nice if the crime and its nature was discussed rather than the perpetrator.

I didn't start the fire !

2006-06-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Or did I ? Or didn't I ? Or maybe i did just a bit ... Or maybe I put it out ...

When the Music’s over

2006-06-05T10:18:00.000-07:00

When the Music's over ... sang Jim Morrison
To my distress, that’s exactly how I’m feelin nowadays. I suddenly feel musically impaired.

There used to be days when I would have headphones on all day, constantly blasting out some blood curdling riffs into my ears. I used to be crazy about the latest iron maiden or Megadeth album I could get my hands on. I used to come back home, lie down on my couch, put on some Sepultura on full volume, close my eyes and drift away. I used to spend hours on my guitar till my fingers used to hurt on even touching the air.

But now I just don’t feel it.

The guitar’s been packed away for the last three months. It’d stay that way for the next year. But strangely the music doesn’t penetrate my ears to my heart anymore.

The music would still be playing but it just drifts over my head.

Maybe it’s just a phase. Maybe I need some new music. Whatever it is … it sucks and it better get over quickly.

Gimme fuel ! Gimme Fire !

2006-06-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

While the media goes crazy showing the plight of the quintessential ‘aam aadmi’ due to the price hikes, they fail to show the other side of the story (another example of yellow journalism). Sure it will hit the pockets of the masses … but they fail to focus on the crucial question … Whether the fuel price hike can really be avoided ? I think not. Well not until the corrupt representatives of ‘democracy’ are willing to pull their pants (or dhotis) up and get to work.

First of all, the oil shock had come already in 2005. A lot of countries, especially of the developed world, had already started the process of making adjustments and increasing prices. India on the other hand, had not. I decided to do some number crunching myself and was quite surprised. The highest prices prevailing (according to the ‘latest’ data I could find from 2005) are in Amsterdam where they pay around 78 Rupees per liter. The affluent British themselves shell out around 69 Rs. per liter. Of course oil is heavily subsidized in countries like Venezuela and the Middle East and it was pointless doing the calculations to end up with single digit prices per liter (in rupees). India, more interestingly, ranks around mid way in terms of global petrol prices. Even more interestingly, it is categorized under the “Taxation” list of countries which levy moderate excise on fuel. This first of all confirms that the data I found was already outdated despite being only 6 months old . In the current scenario, with oil prices at $ 70 a barrel, India would definitely be categorized in the “Fuel Subsidies” section. This is further validated with oil marketing companies loosing billions each quarter in order to maintain the political ambitions.

But like most things in life, the pricing of fuel is not that simple either. Concerns ranging from inflation, to inconvenience, to losses of oil companies, to growth rate, all have to be addressed. But nothing demands more attention than the chest of all fortunes – the vote banks. With the left front crying ‘genocide’ each time the petroleum ministry even whispers the words ‘price hike’ it becomes very clear whose’ interests are being kept in mind – the politicians.

Why should we, the consumers, bear the brunt of the spiraling prices when a good part of the petrol price consists of taxes and excise duties that the government levies on sale of oil and various products ? Why can’t the duties be reduced if the consumers are going to be hurt so much ? Well the answer is simple … that would mean reduction in government’s revenues. That would mean the lavish lifestyles of our ‘honest’ politicians would be dented. That would mean the Income Tax department will have to do more work … I’m sorry … that would mean the Income Tax department will have to actually work ! That would mean that tax collected from Chautala alone (his assets being 1600 Crore) each year would be able to feed hundreds of starving kids. Since the poor people don’t come in the high tax brackets and a considerable fraction of the middle class already pays the taxes, the vote banks would be intact. But this would definitely translate into work. Therefore, this scenario is obviously as ridiculous as it is impossible.

And after all, if the Oil Marketing Companies are actually state owned companies, then why should their losses be such a big concern ? Can’t they be simply written off as subsidies ? Sure they can be, but then that would mean the drop in share prices thus affecting a lot of middle class investors. That would mean no dividends. That would mean disillusionment of the middle class vote bank.

Surely the government has to perform a very tough balancing act. They may be corrupt, but they’re definitely not dumb. They start scaring the people with announcements of a Rs. 10 hike in prices being imminent. The people go mad. The media starts analyzing and over analyzing. The markets get affected further. The left (co-conspirator) cries ‘mass murder'. People wait anxiously and dread any announcements from the fuel ministry. After some teasing, the government comes out with a smaller hike of 4 and 2 Rs. The left claims a bittersweet victory and keeps its vote banks intact. The people give a sigh of relief. The media still analyzes. The government emerges as the reluctant hero. The people still unknowingly get victimized. Life goes on. SETI still looks for ETs.

... Fallin' Down ...

2006-06-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

And now introducing … Spiderman … in a dhoti !!!

2006-06-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

No I haven’t been drinking. And no I’m not kidding as well. It’s true – a very Indian Spiderman wearin’ a dhoti is soon about to make his debut spinning his web from one mud-hut to another.

At first it seems kind of funny to imagine. You know, India is not exactly what one would call the skyscraper capital of the world. So we’ll probably have Spiderman swingin’ from one 2 storey building to another, trying to not hit the pedestrians ‘n dodge the occasional cows. His dhoti could probably be used as a parachute for the ‘softer landings’. He’d obviously be a very busy man in India ‘coz of the high crime rate and the larger population. Maybe he’d even start a family to keep the crime under control. He would ofcourse not hold a call center job ‘coz that’d deprive him of the prime time crime. Now I’m just foolin’ around … but once you check out the illustrations, you can see the potential.

I’m not at all surprised about who’s taken up this new (and daring) venture. Such Virgin territories can only be explored by no one else but Richard Branson. And what’s better is that he has collaborated with an Indian management and spiritual guru, Deepak Chopra and one of the most critically acclaimed film directors, Shekhar Kapur. That is quite a hell of a team. The success of Hanuman has been the final word in the decision as the project was given the go and Virgin Comics was formed.

There are atleast 4 projects lined up. The Sadhu, Ramayan Reborn, Snake Woman and Spider-dhoti-man! It’s a bit funny, but the idea’s definitely got potential. U’ve gotta adore Richard Branson for his boldness. If someone from Virgin ever reads this … pick me up !!!

Free your mind ...

2006-06-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

MML ! Matrix ishtyle

Morpheus : Unfortunately, no one can be told what the MML is. You have to see it for yourself.

T minus 8 days … and counting

2006-06-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

No it’s not a countdown for some world cup football or rugby or some insect spitting competition. It’s the number of days left till I go back to MDI to finish off my MBA once and for all.

The kind of emotions I am feeling right now can probably be best described by a Benetton ad. Anxiety, happiness, sorrow, hope, grudges, detachment …. they’re all there ! While most of the negative emotions have been consciously overcome and put away, the process will only be considered complete once I actually go back there and start living there again. Moreover, suddenly I have discovered a whole lotta things which I should’ve done till now in preparations for goin’ back !

I’m sure, though, of this much that there’s more of a positive wait than a negative wariness.

Now we just have to wait till touchdown.

C'mon baby light my wire ...

2006-06-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

Seriously ... I need to get back to MDI :)

Breaking News ! Breaking News !

2006-06-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

That’s all you can see flashing across the TV screen as you flip through the zillion news channels. An almost exact copy of something that had happened just a few weeks before was played out again with the hospitalization of Pramod Mahajan’s son.

Now it’s almost evening and the same marquee is still playing on at the bottom of all news channels with slight alterations every now and then. While some channels (mostly the English news channels) have had the decency to show us with what else is happening in the world, a few (mostly the Hindi channels like Aaj Tak) are still going on analyzing, probing, cross examining, discussing what the kid did last night. An army of reporters has been deployed at his residence, at the hospital, at the party’s headquarters and probably even in front of the house of Mahajan family’s most far flung residence to get even the smallest whiff of developments. The anchor constantly goes on repeating the same old story in a hyper excited voice. The split screen constantly repeats the same old clippings of Rahul Mahajan walkin around. Then every ten minutes or so one of the reporters stationed at the crucial points starts repeating the same old thing which the anchor has been yapping about for the past 2 hours.

But some news channels are more innovative and resourceful. Some show interviews with specialists who would give their ‘expert’ opinions about the patient without having even seen the patient and simply basing their diagnosis on the various degrees of reports coming in. Some even show interviews of the family doctor making claims about depression, drug abuse, alien abductions, etc. Then you’re left to wonder … who’s gonna be next ? Maybe the driver’s wife or the servant’s dog or the neighbor’s relative living in Canada !

I have some problems with this kind of journalism and I would like to raise some questions here (ofcourse writing here is almost like thinking in my head and going to sleep .. but then what the heck ! what are blogs for !)

Why is this thing so important after all ? I mean the guy isn’t even a politician ! He is simply the addicted (probably) son of a deceased politician who himself was fading into obscurity ! He may have been a big politician or the future of BJP someday but today he is not even a member of the party ! So why is it that his life should be so important to us ? I’m sure there are millions of people going through worse tragedies in life everyday but they don’t seem to be breaking news by the second ! This is probably what sensational journalism is all about. Making loud and bold declarations (may or may not be even true) about someone who is remotely famous.

Why do we have to keep watching the same thing again and again and again ? It’s true that probably you have to keep informing about the events in case a viewer has just tuned in. But then what about the loyal viewers who have been watching your channel for some time ? Doesn’t this mean that they’d simply get bored of watching the same old stuff and simply click on the next channel ? What about the other things that were lined up for that day ? Do they suddenly loose their relevance just because some kid consumed / was fed too much cocaine ? It would probably be better if they’d repeat the story every hour or so if there are no new updates and then carry on with other news. The marquee is there anyways !

Who are these sources who make claims such as there was a woman among the people visiting Rahul (and so what anyways ?) and that there was a conspiracy to kill him and that Sonia Gandhi is actually a Martian parading an Italian ? Isn’t objective (and professional) journalism about giving facts and not speculation and rumors?

What about the important issues such as reservation and Office of profit bill or terrorism in Srinagar ? Did all the politicians and terrorists and students suddenly go on a vacation just because Rahul Mahajan consumed more booty than he was able to handle ?

And finally, what’s with the whole sad orchestra playing in the back ground as visuals of the aggrieved mother or son the dog are shown in slow motion and in black and white ? Now that’s got sensationalism written all over it ! It’s sacrilege !

It’s like being a drug addict where every boost increases your body’s capacity and resistance even further. Small shots don’t have an effect anymore. You need more and more quantities every time just to get high. That’s how people are becoming nowadays. Junkies. Normal news just doesn’t ring a bell. They need sensationalism. They need big flashy graphics and compelling music to understand the issues and the plight. The evidence is right in your face. The injustice in Jessica Lall murder case was an outrage some time ago. Now it’s invisible like the murderer himself. Pramod Mahajan’s medical condition and his eventual death were all over then. Now nobody even speaks about him. Then the reservation issue was the hottest debate till day before yesterday. Today I didn’t see even a single mention of it. Even the office of profit issue rose and died away in the last two days. Today the latest rage is Rahul Mahajan taking cocaine. Who knows what’s next.

I think the media itself is to blame for this. The sensationalism created around everything attracts the attention of the viewers away from previous issues. The 24 hour focus on the same issue over and over again drills it into viewers’ minds. As I had mentioned in one of my earlier posts, thanks to the sensationalist media, we have become a society with a short term memory.

I think the positioning of the news channel TIMES NOW sums it up the best. It says Feel the News. That’s exactly what it is. Simply watching the news doesn’t affect people anymore. They need to be made to feel it.

Lightning crashes

2006-06-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was tryin' to make some lightning ...
but then suddenly all these UFO's came and spoiled the shot :)

Photoshop Time : 5 mins

A for …

2006-06-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

A for Apple
B for Ball
C for ... Can u teach me some grammar ?

It’s true ! ‘N it’s an emergency ! Suddenly I feel that I’ve lost all my grammar skills !

Just today I was confronted with the task of paying more attention to the grammar and language of some text. How difficult could it be after all , I thought to myself. That thought was soon tossed out the window. I think somewhere through those years of ‘good’ education from ‘reputed’ places like DPS, St. Stephen’s and MDI … slang got mixed with proper language. And it got mixed so well that right now I really can’t tell the difference! Just for example, I’m so used to saying ‘and things like that’ that for me this is proper English!

The other thing is updates and language development. I agree evolution of all things is necessary. But the evolution of language kind of makes me feel retarded. Just today I found out that the word ‘overweight’ was not just an adjective any more but now a noun as well. So basically the overweights need not worry about being overweight but having overweight. What’s troublesome about this is that now I need to read one more thing along with my daily newspaper and the financial daily everyday … the daily dictionary ! Considering the number of words / phrases / modifications that are introduced in the dictionary every year, if I don’t keep myself updated, soon I’ll be talkin’ cave-man-speak ‘n people won’t understand me! Now I can’t allow that.

The other thing I gotta worry about is the number and type of dictionaries. U have the Oxford’s, the Cambridge’s, the Collins’s, the Idiot’s and what nots. Then you have the British and the American. Then you have the formal and the informal. I mean is there an end to it ???

For example ... did you know there were proper listed words like Granny dumping (no it’s not about dating and dumping grannies), McJob (as if there weren’t already enough kind of ‘jobs’) and many many more !

I think I should go back to nursery.

"In my sentences I go where no man has gone before ... I am a boon to the English Language" - George W. Bush

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2006-06-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

When you have read a couple of hundred books, watched a couple of thousand movies, read all the articles on aldaily and wired and watched all the reruns on National Geographic .... n u still get bored .... Here's what you do ...

You click on Adobe Photoshop, create a new document, N start makin a clock n watch time fly by :) here's what i ended up with

"Three o' clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do"- Jean Paul Sartre

Crash !

2006-05-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

Saw a truly awesome movie today … Crash. I think it deserves every bit of accolades it received along with the best movie Oscar. A riveting story of lives of many people … all strangers to each other … all belonging to different races … coinciding at some point towards the end of the movie. But it’s more than just a touching story of people. It, more importantly displays the various prejudices that are harboured and eventually govern and affect the lives of the American people.

The other thing that struck me when I was watchin’ the movie was the kind of strong arguments it provided in favour of anti-reservation anywhere. It also reminded me of the kind of argument provided in the movie American History X to Edward Norton by his father ------ Ed Norton’s father, who is a white cop, is explaining to him why he doesn’t like black people. He explains the kind of insecurity he feels when he is in the field fightin’ criminals. The insecurity stems when he’s being covered by a black man who came into the force above 6 white men who were more competent than him just because he was black. In the field, according to him, that reduction in confidence can cost an officer’s life. That is no doubt a pretty strong argument. In the movie the father dies of course … he’s shot by a black gangster. Poetic freakin justice. Crash is quite similar to American History X in many respects.

Anywayz I wouldn’t like to get into the whole pros and cons of reservation debate again. It kinda seems pointless to debate about it all civilized reasoning and debating has only fallen on deft ears. The whole issue is now lost in the labyrinth called the judicial system now and it shall only see the light when it’s too late.

All in all, Crash is a thoroughly enjoyable movie. It was even better to wash off the excitement and profundity with a dose of the good old ‘Hot Shots 2’.

Right around the corner

2006-05-30T04:23:00.000-07:00

I was looking for G-55 C.P.
I reached the inner circle and slowed down next to a guy and asked where I could find the place. He said to take the next left and it would be just around the corner.
Ok, I thought. So I took the next left and reached towards a dead end with the address no where in sight. So I stopped to ask another guy where G-55 was. He contemplated, and then said it was just there on the left row, a few steps down. I must have had a lost look on my face when another generous fellow peered into the passenger’s side window and asked me what I was looking for. He had a shocked look on his face when I told him G-55. he pointed in the direction from where I was coming from and said it was somewhere over there. Now the first guy broke into a quarrel with him vociferously defending his directions. Finally the second guy gave up looking even more confused than me.

The great thing about the place is that it has all these shops declaring their names, owners, offerings, affiliates, blah blah but none of them mention their address. Banking my faith on the triumphant guy I finally parked my car and decided to follow his directions. He even showed me a pillar marked ‘G’ and told me to walk down a few feet and it’d be just around the corner. This lead me to the outer side of the inner circle.

Assuming his relative definition of ‘a few feet’ was a little different from mine I walked down the row of shops. After a couple of corners down I still couldn’t find what I was looking for. I crossed some small shops indicating 61 .. 62 .. 63. The increasing progression made me a bit worried. So I asked a guy selling cigarettes. He chewed on his paan for eternity and with a condescending look said, walk down, take the left on the corner and it’ll be a few shops down. Having abandoned my hope to have walked just a small distance quite a few corners back, I crawled along thankful that atleast they were all pointing in the same direction. Finally, and thankfully, that corner was the last one and I arrived.

It was then that I realized that the poor guy who had told me earlier that I was in the wrong place was actually right ! I had actually traveled almost in a semi circle around half a kilometer I might add) to where he was pointing.

Nevertheless, I did pick up a couple of valuable things on the corners.

What could've been ...

2006-05-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I am haunted by this thought
It magnifies the pain that on myself I have brought

It’s like watchin’ a fantasy on the big screen
It’s just a thought of what could’ve been

I see a group of friends … laughin', reminiscin’, havin’ fun
But wait a minute, someone’s missin’ … I am the one

It only causes heartache and sufferin’
Oh why do I think about what could’ve been ?

Just today, a thought brought a tear to my eye
It was always because of me, but still I wonder why

I know … it’s futile to regret over consequences unforseen
Still … It’s never easy to not think about what could’ve been

- by Me (I'm no freakin' poet)

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these - 'It might have been" - John Greenlead Whittier

Underworld evolution and The Last boy scout

2006-05-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

A day full of crappy movies :)

Started off with The last boy scout .. a very typical Bruce Willis movie. Although I like the guy, the Die Hard kinda junkie cop (Ex NSA this time) was a drab. Plus the stunts were very normal. Plus the story was useless. Plus .. aah forget it.

Then with high hopes I put in Underworld Evolution. I was wrong again. Nothin new here again. The same old war between various factions of blood sucking century old idiots. And very strangely, normal bullets were a little bit effective in this movie ! Now that's the value proposition in the movie. The only saving grace was Kate Beckinsale in the tight leather suit. Period.

"My dentist said to me the other day, I've enough problems in my life, so why should i see your movies ?" - David Creonenberg

A gentle spirit

2006-05-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

Another First. And a very delightful one at that.

Just finished reading a short story titled ‘A gentle spirit’ by Fyodor Dostoevsky (the first I’ve ever read by him).

I was delighted and moved would probably be an understatement.

It’s a beautiful story, albeit a tragic one, of an owner of a pawn shop. He marries a girl out of pity for her as she is very poor and tortured. But somehow after the marriage, he displays very little affection towards her out of his pride for having done a favour to her. The girl, who is beautiful and is described as a gentle spirit by nature, slowly grows independent and rebellious and tries embarrassing him as a punishment for how he treats her. These plans are foiled by the man but she is forgiven for he, as he realizes gradually, truly loves her. But the silence between them has grown too huge and opaque to allow any of them to show the emotions and respect they have for each other. All the ‘coldness’ that had existed between them has estranged them from each other.

Until one day, the emotions are too much for the man and he just rushes to her and breaks the silence by confessing his love for her. While he overlooks the symptoms of irrecoverable damage, she is unable to look beyond the years of solitude she has been subjected to because of his pride. The turning point of the story is when he is at her feet begging for her love, she says to him, “I though you would let me go on like that”. She grows delirious, confused thanks to the torturous burgeoning past and sudden rush of the present. He realizes the mistakes he has made, and also realizes that irreparable damage which he is still willing to correct nevertheless. He realizes that he truly loves her. The next day, the girl prays to god for the hope she’s been shown to her by the man. She stands facing the window, smiles at the past and the prospects, and then jumps. The man is condemned to live his life in the shadow of the girl’s death. The girl he loved so much.

Obviously the synopsis I have given is a very miniscule representation of the rollercoaster of emotions and events in the book. For me the story emphasis a very special aspect about ‘love’ and I’d like to offer a few pennies for my own thoughts here. It makes the case stronger for me that ‘love’ is not a noun but a verb. Most times ‘love’ is treated as a noun, something which is acquired, possessed, and sometimes lost. I don’t think so.

While I do not refute the chemistry and bonds and attraction that are created between two people and cannot be helped, but I believe that love is something more enduring that that. For me, when you love someone that means that you take a proactive stand to appreciate them and stand by them. It is not, therefore, an involuntary action when you stop loving someone. It is a very conscious and voluntary response when you decide to not endure the various aspects that are brought upon by being in a relationship and living with someone.

That’s probably the reason why a lot of couples actually stay together for long periods (and throughout their lives even) because they choose to love rather than be in love.

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience"- Samuel Johnson

The good Life !

2006-05-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

Today I have in my possession, two things that would keep me occupied and entertained at the same time. It's not like there aren't other entertaining things to do. Sure there are. There are things which can keep me occupied for the next 2 weeks as well. But what's different is that these things are new.

So first of all, I got a combo drive installed in my computer today. So I shall walk down to the DVD parlour closeby and catch up on all the movies I have missed in the last 2 months of being grounded. :)

Secondly, I just found, and downloaded the complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes from the net. (I don't wanna post the link here ... who knows I might get into trouble!). I had never read much of C'nH before. Hadn't read it properly for sure. (Mostly because TOI doesn't publish it). But i had stumbled upon the strip sometime back on the net and had fallen in love with it instantly. Very funny. Very profound.

So, all in all, I am looking forward to the next 2 weeks. Also because they're the last 2 weeks at home !

"May your life be like toilet paper ... long and useful"- Unknown

Photograph

2006-05-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

Found this song on my computer .. couldn’t help but be nostalgic.. (Photograph by Nickelback)
I couldn’t find an all-inclusive picture but this is the closest. DCP as always is here, there, everywhere and nowhere

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
(aah those bakar days ... nutcracker)
How did our eyes get so red?
(well that’s natural)
And what the hell is on Joey’s head?
(actually … what’s on pon singh’s head can briefly be categorized as a testicle)

And this is where I grew up
(I do account a lot of changes to it)
I think the present owner fixed it up
(someone did get fixed up .. namely me :))
I never knew we ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneakin’ out
(never felt like it as well )

And this is where I went to school
(Beeeee school)
Most of the time had better things to do
(Ceeeeee Essssssss !)
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must’ve done it half a dozen times
(We did break a lot of things, including bottles and dustbins )

I wonder if it’s too late
Should I go back and try to graduate?
(How true )
Life’s better now than it was back then
(Only in some ways though)
If I was them, I wouldn’t let me in
Oh oh oh
Oh god I am

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye

Remember the old arcade
(ceesssss n the dome )
Blew every dollar that we ever made
(booze is expensive )
The cops seen us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we’d know
(mu me lo bhai mu me lo …. )
We said someday we’d find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
(no comments )
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
(yea rite )
She’s had a couple of kids since then
(hmm )
I haven’t seen her since God knows when
Oh oh oh
Oh god I am

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on the bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
(second floor, theka, dome, sec 14 )
I miss their faces
(don't think I need to name 'em )
You can't erase it
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change
(I wouldn’t change almost anything )

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me...

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necassary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends" - Richard Bach

A dying wish

2006-05-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

One of my favorites, Anand was coming on television today. It was towards the end when Rajesh Khanna was about to die a painful death thanks to cancer. Undoubtedly it was a touchy moment.
Just then I imagined myself dying a painful death. Infact I imagined myself dying many kinds of deaths. I checkout out various forms of it. From falling of a bridge to being in a plane crash to slipping in the bathroom and smashing my head on the sink to getting a heart attack to passing away silently in my death. I imagined them all. Admittedly, there was nothing funny or romantic in that.
Like probably everyone, I have in the past, imagined what’ll happen to the people who care about me / I care about when I die. I have imagined the pain of the loss. I have also plotted what all I’d like to achieve before I die. However, not surprisingly, I have never imagined the actual moment and experience of dying. (after all it is difficult to imagine such a thing when u can only feel it once). And let me tell you, it was definitely not a pleasant experience.
I mean to my imagination, a heart attack or a collision of one’s head with the bathtub which result in his/ her death must really be painful. It’s not like I’m afraid of pain. After all, anyone who’s ever been to a dentist can proudly proclaim to have tamed the beast. But definitely something as powerful as killing you must be painful.
On the other hand, I also somehow cannot comprehend passing out peacefully in sleep. I mean if I am sleeping, and suddenly something starts hurting, I immediately wake up! So how come when you get a heart attack or something resulting in your death you don’t wake up instead just happily pass on? This I cannot understand. Nonetheless, although less painful, it seems like a dull alternative. No drama. No last words. Boring.
Maybe it is alright not to imagine that moment. There’s no point in imagining something you absolutely cannot do anything about and don’t even know when and how it will occur. It only makes you afraid of dying. Afraid of the inevitable.
As for me, imagining such scenarios provoked overwhelmingly existential and belittling emotions. I thought it would be quite pointless to live a very nice (moral, generous, honest) life and then be eventually crushed to pieces under millions of pounds of rubble thanks to some lunatic Islamic extremist flying a plane into my building. (I hope they atleast get grounded in hell)

"It's not that I am afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens" - Woody Allen

The Rang de Basanti effect

2006-05-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while. Not like I’m in a rush to be the first to ‘coin’ a term or anything. I don’t really care about that. But I think some credit should be given where it is due. I think the makers of the movie / movie itself deserves credit for the kind of movement it has ignited.

It could probably be verified with the help of statistics but I don’t have the kind of patience to do that. But by memory, I can recall how the movement against the accused in the Jessica Lall murder case was initiated by the people and actually carried out in the Rang De Basanti style. People actually had a candle march at the India gate just like in the movie. The courts (especially the supreme court) also swung into action soon afterwards. Not just in the Jessica Lall case but infact in a battery of other cases, which had been lying stagnant for years/ decades, some activity and judgments were seen.

It is very likely that these protesting people and the proactive judges were inspired by the movie and the whole of the recent improvements are a resultant of that.

Maybe RDB was the tipping point.

Love at first sight … yea right!

2006-05-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

Out of absolute boredom and thanks to some parched programming by my preferred channels I was finally forced to settle on some crappy Hindi movie. There was as much excitement and ingenuity in the movie as there is snowfall in the Sahara Desert. The same poor family of the hero and the greedy and stinkin’ rich family of the heroine were introduced in a drab fashion. The regular twist of fate and finally … Love at first sight !

This is where I beg to differ (well not exactly beg) with probably quite a few people. I don’t believe in the eyes meeting – bells ringing – white doves flying kind of a first encounter which bonds a couple for life. Plus I’m probably not too sure about the definition of the most popular 4 lettered word love itself (second to none other than the enabler of speech – F**K).

While I would not like to get into the definition, I would like to offer my thoughts about the dynamics of the first encounter of the essential kind. Much like God Hisself, I don’t know about women’s side of the story, but I’m pretty sure about what goes on in a guy’s head when he first sees a woman. It’s no mystery. I can infact count the thoughts on my fingertips:
1. She’s Hot (“let’s knock boots”)
2. She’s Cute/ pretty (“let’s talk for a while .. then let’s knock boots”)
3. She’s average (“maybe I can get to know her … then meet her girlfriends … and then maybe knock boots”)
4. She’s below average/ ugly (“I wonder if she can help me do my homework while I go knock boots with someone else”)

I may be crucified by some for this, but these are actually the thoughts at the beginning of the first encounter in most guys (with the only exception of gays obviously). Obviously these thoughts shift from carnal to other subsequently.

The most important thing is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing pervert in it like many (especially women) think. It’s something which cannot be helped. Call it primal instinct or involuntary procreative reaction if you will.

People have it so wrong.

work in progress

2006-05-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

In a sudden burst of inspiration and creativity (i don't know which one's stronger), I have decided (after a loT of thinking), that i shall write a book :)
Now to be honest it is not a very ambitious project. It's not like I plan to publish it or something. I guess more than anything, it represents probably an innate human wish - for his life / moments / parts of his life to be preserved forever. It represents the thought in every human being that what he's going through is unique and needs to be told. Thus, enlightened with this existentialist knowledge, I can safely say it'll be for my own personal preservation and satisfaction and nothing more than that. But it is quite fun to deliberately go back in time and try to analyze and understand events that happened in one's past.
But then I do have a few ideas that I may consider making public.
But then I'm me so the tomorrow I may completely forget about the whole thing.

What’s DA point?

2006-05-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

I would like a very convincing explanation for 2 things which haven’t been answered satisfactorily by the pious followers of the Gods (I call them fanatics).
1. Why is it that when the Da Vinci Code was released in 2003 there was not much racquet created by the Christians all over the world? Why is it that while the book sold millions and millions of copies, the so called ‘vulnerable’ children of the God sat on their hands?
2. Why is it of all the countries in the world, a country such as India which probably harbors a peanut size population of Christians in the world (which also form a peanut size percentage of the country’s population itself), has to ban the movie the Da Vinci Code while most other Christian-laden countries allow it to be screened?

The questions seem very valid as they question the validity of the freedom to be creative and the freedom of expression themselves. While there is no such legal asset such as freedom of creativity, it is very much ingrained in the concept of creativity itself. A seamless boundary of thought is obviously given as a basic characteristic of creativity. It is very easy to explain the violation of freedom of expression legally and otherwise anyways.

Amongst all the reasons given for banning the movie, probably the strongest argument the fanatics have been able to put up (and quite a valid one according to me) is that many Christians are gullible and would not be able to differentiate fact from fiction. It’s needless to add, that the protestors do not present a very ‘sensible’ or ‘mature’ picture while trying to preserve their ‘faiths’. Otherwise, why would they imagine that people of their ‘kind’ would be confused? Are they not sensible enough to differentiate fact from fiction (something called research might help) and are they not mature enough to be able to believe and stand by something? More importantly, do they not have so much confidence in their ever-lasting, so-eternal ‘truth’ that they have to shoot down a single man’s thought and stifle his creativity? These questions, however, still lie unanswered in vain.

Since it is quite obvious that the two questions posed would go unattended, I would try to answer them myself.
1. While there were a few insignificant protests after the release of the book, it was just left it at that as it was considered a mere work of ‘fiction’. It was widely believed that such a book would anyways raise a few interested eyebrows and then fade into obscurity. Ofcourse the power of sensationalism harnessed by Dan Brown had been underestimated by the protestors and the book soon developed a cult status and that’s when the problems for the poor old church began. Suddenly a lot of people worldwide, who were in any case growing disillusioned with church / religion, began using the book as a way to shun the (lost faith in) church. By the time this came to light, it was probably too late. The earlier merely disregarded work of fiction was suddenly drawing people away from the church and therefore putting a dent in its power and authority. Finally, the marketers of Sony pictures realizing this, clearly saw an excellent marketing ploy (no expenses whatsoever) and started fuelling the debate hoping someone might catch the bait. And someone surely did.
2. This is a very simple question to answer yet difficult to swallow for many. It’s a typical dilemma faced by a country and its people trying to be much more ‘modern’ than they actually are. After all, most modern/ developed nations (widely accepted) must not actually be lying about their status by approving the movie to be released. They understand the difference in the domains of art and religion and decide to let them be separate. We, on the other hand, have it all bungled up. Plus our politicians (who have it all wrong I may add) see the Christian population not as a religious sect with some demands but as a vote bank which must be preserved in any case. That’s probably the reason why the Information and Broadcasting ministry viewed the movie first and then sent it the Censor Board. I’m sorry, but I thought it was the Censor board’s job to review movies and not the ministry, I thought the ministry was just to make the policies so the industry develops in a sustainable and proper manner (I must be crazy for thinking that!).

The movie may or may not be released. The movie-pirates are always there for the rescue. I would just like to give my hats off the Sony Marketing executives.

Gloomy Day

2006-05-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

It’s just one of those days when just nothing’s right.

You wake up with a heavy head from last night (not a hangover … but something following on from last night). Minimum conversations. Atmosphere heavy with disappointment. Tensed glances. Silence. Conflict. Mourning. Irrecoverable damage.

No palpable good news. Fading responses. Wondering why the anticipation. Mixed emotions. Incomprehensible behavior. Doubts.

It’s just one of those days … you just feel like taking a gun and … well Fuck It !

The whole 11.5 kilometers

2006-05-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

The other thing that seemed to occupy my mind apart from the flashy guns was the fanaticism. It was everywhere I looked!

Be it the ruthless sun or rainstorms (may be a bit exaggerated, but I experienced both) or just the suffocating smell of horse shit (that smell still lingers!), there were people everywhere! There were ‘barely alive’ oldies dragging themselves with the help of sticks. There were numerous handicaps/ oldies/ fat aunties and uncles being carried on ponies and other carriages. There was even a guy who had decided to traverse the whole ‘yatra’ distance by crawling! (I’m not exaggerating)

Now, even though I’m not a believer, this still seems amazing. It is just difficult to believe how 3 carved stones (supposedly gods) can draw people from the extremities of the country and endure an 11.5 km (or longer depending upon the path you choose) incline just so they can see them for 2 secs!

If you ask me again, I’d do it again probably for company or the walk but not for that reason, but apparently people (millions) do it just for those 2 seconds! Its simply an amazing thought. (Although stupid according to me)

Kalashnikov(s)

2006-05-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

I just came back today from a family pilgrimage to Vaishno Devi. It was the normal hoola-hoopla 3 day affair. But amongst all the sights, sounds and smells related to the whole experience (most of them revolve around horse-shit, literally), the only thing that I remember at the end are the AK-47s.

There’s been a recent threat by the terrorists and the security’s been beefed up over there. That means I got to see AKs from the beginning of the yatra to the very inside of the cave!!!

I’m not commenting on the presence of AKs at the holy place, etc. I’m just saying that I think that I’m crazy about guns!!! Maybe it’s a consequence of playing too much CS … or maybe I’m just a terrorist at heart … but whatever the cause I don’t give a …, I’m just crazy about them. It wasn’t just AKs but there were other semi-autos everywhere as well (B32 for example).

I’m sure there’s something about the AK which makes it the most favoured weapon all over the world (apart from its performance and cheap price of course!).
The shiny black metal smartly covered with wood in certain places … just makes you wanna get some (at least me).

So if anybody ever reads this, and really wants to buy me a birthday present, then please … now you know!

Da Vinci Mania !!! ... and Bakar !!!

2006-05-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

I am very excited today. I generally get like that when I buy some books. I bought a nice mix consisting of The Prince (Nicolo Machiavelli), Digital Fortress (Dan Brown), On a clear day you can see GM (Patrick Wright) and Blink (Malcolm Gladwell). So there you have it, everything from Business to revolutionary books to plain old riveting fiction !

Also, a very interesting co-incidence happened today. I bought Digital Fortress by Dan Brown which happens to be about hardcore code breaking (like most of his novels) and ... I just found out about the Da Vinci Code breaking contest on IBN. I'd like to quote The Merrill Vinji (screw the spelling!) from the Matrix to allow a better insight into my excitement -- "Where some see coinzidence (imitating his slurry accent) ... I see Cauzality .. where some see Conzequence (Slurrrrp!) ... I see Chanze (slurp slurp)!". So well there you have it, I am already going through all the anagram-breaking pages Uncle Google can throw at me and come hail or ... (blah blah .. I’m a bit sleepy though).

Another thing, people have voiced their opinions, rather vehemently, on the lack of 'Bakar' here. I would like to apologize about that and like our 'very responsible' government, I have set up an inquiry in that matter and will be coming out with an adequate solution to satisfy all strata of the society very soon (few days ... maybe ... weeks ... could be ... years .. always possible!).

Right here, Right Now

2006-05-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

I was watching all these so called ‘experts’ on television debate about reservation and the right to equality when I realized that I couldn’t recall my fundamental rights. Of course then it’s a foregone conclusion that I had absolutely no recollection of what my fundamental duties were.

So out of rabid curiosity on what all I am entitled to in my package to live and be born in this country, I asked uncle Google to enlighten me on my fundamental rights. Sure enough I got all kinds of descriptions and was surprised about my ignorance. (I have asked a few people here and there since and I was consoled that I wasn’t the only one in that department)

It’s not very difficult after reading the fine print a couple of times that you realize that one is actually not as free as he/ she thinks he is. Sprinkled generously in the description of the rights are innumerous loopholes disguised as ‘security of state’, ‘public order’ and the ace of all … ‘morality’.

With so many kinds of people in the society, I am very confused on the definition of that word. I don’t think I need to elaborate on just how much ‘unity in diversity’ our nation or our society has on the bounds of morality. So if you actually try to include everyone’s definition, then the ‘right to freedom’ should actually be renamed to ‘miniscule acceptable – things’. On the other hand, ignoring someone’s moral concerns would probably be considered un-democratic and the person may exercise his Right to freedom (of speech) to invoke his Right to constitutional remedies to protect his Right against Exploitation (of morality), being not held in the light of Right to Equality (by me) therefore undermining his Right to religion and his Cultural and Educational rights.

Phew ! No wonder these lawyers always have these volumes and volumes of books in the backgrounds whenever they come on television. :)

There’s nothing like born musical talent

2006-05-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

The first English music album that I’d ever bought was Backstreet Boys when I was 15 years old. I find that a tad bit embarrassing but thankfully I soon graduated to rock and moved out of the whole ‘pop’ era. I was soon head-banging to Metallica, Iron Maiden, etc. I had been introduced to a completely new world.

Very soon I was dreaming of playing a guitar and was hanging out with guitarists and other musically inclined people. I bought my first guitar at age 16 (I have only bought one more since then). As I would sit with it all day, and take out one cranky note after another, I knew I had more of a musical bent than the general junta. It kind of makes you feel good that you have something that others don’t. (of course soon you realize that the same ‘others’ have a lot of things that you don’t ! .. then it’s crappy again)

Well anyways, what I just came across has simply shocked me and broken my heart. Apparently, scientists have discovered (those damn scientists again !), that we are all born with a perfect pitch (basically we are all born with so called ‘musical talent’). It’s a different thing that some of us just loose it over time as we learn languages. Infact, babies’ cootchy-coo language is nothing but them communicating in musical notes at apparently a 100% success rate. (and we thought they were just foolin’ around ;))

They have even discovered that the Neanderthals had a perfect pitch and used to communicate by singing (let’s direct the funding to something more constructive!). I would actually like to them naked ape like Neanderthals holding sticks and stones ‘n jumpin’ around ‘n singing to each other about how hot the whether was.

But there is still something special I can be happy about after all. I didn’t, after all these years of grappling with language, loose the pitch I was born with. Or so I think !

Awkward reflections :)

2006-05-14T04:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was getting REALLY bored. So I decided to clean up some rubbish and make some room on the hard disk.
While doing this I came across a folder somewhere in the obscurities of the complex network of folders marked ‘Private’! Two things instantly struck me. First was of course my own stupidity on having named a folder Private and expected someone to not open it then. Secondly, on opening the folder, I felt a small amount of curiosity on going through the files marked with dates.

I have a habit, wherein I write various happenings in the day, my thoughts, emotions and ideas onto a word document and save it with the name of the file as the date. It’s not a discipline like writing a journal, just something I do randomly. I’d obviously not written anything in that folder for some time and had forgotten about it.

Anyways, as I started reading whatever was written in those files, I felt slightly funny, and slightly embarrassed. I’m sure this happens with a lot of people (or atleast that’s how I like to console myself) when they read what they’d written about their emotions (in particular) some time ago.

Certain instances when I’ve described my emotions / reactions, times when I’ve obviously tried to rationalize with myself and make sense out of my own actions by trying to sound very wise and calculative whereas they were simply impulses. They all brought a sort of an embarrassed smile when I read them now. Then you can’t help but think how prejudiced / irrational / impulsive / surprisingly right (rare) you can be. On reading those I felt sorry, proud, happy or angry with myself. Its really surprising but sometimes I felt like I was reading about some complete stranger. It made me rethink my current situation / behavior / relationships.

Mid-day Crisis!

2006-05-14T02:47:00.000-07:00

It’s the same problem I face every Sunday when I’m not going anywhere.

Wake up around 7
Read the newspapers.
Have breakfast by 10.
Log on
Get arbit on the net.
Have lunch
Surf TV including all news channels.
Look at the watch – only 3 !!!! (@!#$@!#! …. Crap !)

This is when my regular battle of Sunday begins as I look for what to do next. Don’t feel like reading a book. There’s nothing new on HBO or Star. Even all news channels are showing repeats. Can’t sleep.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh !

Devil in the Music !

2006-05-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

I just discovered, that there are particular intervals in music which are actually referred to as Diabolous in Musica or the Devil’s Interval because it is believed that the Devil resides in these intervals. As a matter of fact, some of the most famous examples of these tritons are Black Sabbath (quite naturally!) and the Simpsons theme song (this was a shocker). I find this very amusing and scary in a weird way.

The reason given for this fascinating christening is that the tritons create a kind of a dissonance which was not acceptable in the earlier days of long curly-haired, tuxedo-wearing, stick-swinging musicians. Besides it was apparently difficult to create as well.

Of course the alternative explanation I found which also happens to be more interesting is that tritones create a spooky, eerie and sometimes sexual feeling in the listener. That would explain the name and the fact that the tritones were not taught in the earlier times.

After reading this I listened to Black Sabbath (by Black Sabbath), the Simpsons theme song and even the whole Diabolous in Musica album (by Slayer) but I did not experience the spooky or the sexual emotions (damn!). Although I sure wish it was true, we could have had a much better alternative to Viagra in the making.

For me, the music I choose sometimes depends on my mood, and sometimes the music I choose shapes up my mood. There’s nothing like putting on the Dark side of the Moon or P-U-L-S-E, laying back, staring at the ceiling and thinking or experience nothing but pure bliss. Or, like putting on Master of Puppets and feeling the adrenaline rush. I believe that music definitely affects or is affected by emotions. And I can’t stop imagining the possibilities if the kind of emotions about the tritones were true ! :)

Beat them, for we have no excuses !

2006-05-13T07:41:00.000-07:00

If anyone saw the news channels today, it was a heart wrenching sight. Uniform-clad men were showering some 20-somethings with laathis (sticks). It looked like the kids had been reduced to nothing more than mere clothes and the cops looked like unrelenting washers trying to beat the dirt out of them. And I am not exaggerating.

On the other side of the story was helpless patients, some critical, stranded hopelessly outside hospitals because their would-be doctors were getting beaten by cops.

All this commotion, and all just because our government has decided to play a deaf and dumb. It has shunned away its responsibility to the people and its duty of being answerable to them. How can they sit quietly and allow this ruthless aggression at peaceful demonstrators is what I don’t understand.

The silence also conveys the fact that they have no answers, or rather no excuses. If the government was infact serious about the proposed reservations, then it has been shot in the leg by the very anti-reservation media and again in the groin by its very own knowledge commission voting against it and even going as far as asking to review the existing reservations!

But according to me it is not out of answers, it’s simply out of excuses ! That’s because I think the way the whole the reservation-game was played out makes it look like nothing but just a pre-election stunt. The clandestine remark made by Arjun Singh itself proves it. As he himself claims, it was merely ‘mentioned’ and not ‘stated’, that too just before the elections … perfect timing! After that it was very easy to play the ‘responsible but helpless’ government tied down by the EC.

Moreover, I think the whole review and the subsequent decision of the knowledge commission is just a part of the farce. After all, it makes it easier for the government to deny the increase moreso if its very own knowledge commission also denies it. Manmohan Singh’s apparent silence further goes on to verify the farce for otherwise, if he was concerned, he should have asked some questions or defended the reservations.

So the next question is to tell the nation why it is not possible to implement the proposed change (just to get additional votes) … or rather give an excuse for its pre-election, caste based - vote grabbing cheap tactics.

So in the meantime, while our doctors get beaten and water-cannoned on the streets, our government hunts for answers, or rather excuses.

Click, record, play !

2006-05-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

This is one of those things I’d like to get my hands on. It is a music system, radio, DVD player, TV and a digital Media library all combined in one ! In other words, at least for me, Windows Media Center PC is just one of those things which you’ve gotta have.

For me the coolest bit is that fact that it allows you to save what’s coming on TV. How many times I’ve wished so desperately that I could’ve saved that episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (although now you can easily buy it on DVD) or some documentary on NatGeo and Discovery or the movie coming on Star Movies or HBO. Well, it’s possible to simply click, record and play it later!

But the fact is it just doesn’t end there. I mean for a music freak like me, I would be able to save all the music videos I want! That makes me wonder, is that allowed ? Well it is a problem because I might now wanna buy a CD again, I could simply burn them from the PC (I’m not complaining though).

I’m actually one of those people who like to ‘keep’ certain things they like. I have huge number of movies, music, arbit videos, etc that I’ve burnt over the years. It’s probably a materialistic kind of a sin but I think it’s always good when you r stranded at home on a rainy day and there’s nothing on TV to have some classics you can always watch. I think the PC is a great opportunity for such kind of people. I mean imagine the possibilities, a collection of my favorite movies, tons of music that too videos, all the cool documentaries like Extreme Machines or on space etc, and all that recorded for free! I just can’t stop dreaming!

Although I don’t think its positioning as the complete Family PC is quite correct. I mean imagine a situation when your teenage daughter wants to listen to FM, your son wants to do some head banging on the latest RHCP CD he just bought, your mom wants to watch Swami Ramdev and your wife wants to watch the Saas-Bahu dramas and all you’ve got is your Family PC ! I mean then u are in deep …. ( and I didn’t even mention what you wanted to watch !)

According to me it should’ve been positioned as one of those products where you get more out of the deal. I mean at just 30,000 Rs the starting price, and the easy financing schemes generally available on these things, it doesn’t look like the complete family ‘thing’ ready to replace all the benefits it claims it could alone. Besides not all the typical families are all that tech-savvy. It’s probably for those couples who’re busy earning money and can’t really find the time to watch they want to. Or for those working bachelors.

For me, I just have to wait till I fall in any of those groups. :(

The cheapest car: a boon or a bane ?

2006-05-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

As Tata looks to setup a plant for its much talked about ‘1 lakh car’, I can’t help but wonder, do we really need a car as cheap as that ?

The actual viability of the minicar is not actually my concern at the moment as it is not to come out before 2008. What I’m really concerned about, is that can the burgeoning population and the already traffic-clogged cities accommodate a car which will be in the reach of virtually anybody.

Let’s just take Delhi as an example. The capital’s daily car sales are more than all the other metros combined. Now that is an impressive statistic. But an accompanying footnote which is always there and is always overlooked is that fact that the city’s roads are not being able to handle this impressive statistic. My fear is, that if Tata actually comes out with the minicar, and if it actually sells well, our country’s infrastructure might just burst out of over-congestion.

What worries is that all those people who travel on two-wheelers, who travel in buses or by the metro may actually be able to buy and afford that car with easy financing schemes available. For a city that’s trying to shut down shops for re-claiming parking space as one of the reasons, that could spell disaster.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not against people moving up in society or towards development. I’m all for it! But it’s just that I believe, that for the benefit of the society, there should be a minimum threshold which cars should not stoop below. There should be a minimum threshold which people have to cross in order to move into a next group/ class. The minicar threatens to narrow it down to an irrelevant figure. Imagine all those reckless two-wheeler riders suddenly driving a four-wheeler. Imagine all those two-wheeler parking lots trying to fit in a similar number of minicars. Imagine the additional pollution caused and additional fuel spent by them. It’s not that pretty a picture.

Plus, I don’t believe a car produced that cheaply would be providing safety to the passengers even matching that of a Maruti 800. Moreover, with Mr. Tata himself reckoning that it’ll meet all Indian (note not international) environment and safety standards, the resolve seems weaker. Why can’t they try to create more eco-friendly cars or safer cars instead of finding more ways to produce little pollutants cheaply?

Ofcouse in the end the biggest question that remains is who will buy that car, if at all. That depends much upon the styling and the positioning of the vehicle. After all, Indians are pretty much status-conscious and many would not like to be seen driving a no-frills car which probably their clerk buys for his son as well.

Call me a traditionalist if you may, I like cars to be cars and bikes to be bikes. And I would prefer to spend a little extra money for a more safety and cleanliness rather than save money and compromise on them.

Time for winding down ...

2006-05-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

Another day gone by. My highlight of the day - getting a haircut (some would laugh at that thought ofcouse!)
I just looked back at my posts for today and realized they've all been critical ... cynical to some extent. Well that's not how I am always ... it's just one 'o those days I guess. One 'o those days ...

Just some scientific trivia I came across today - a group of scientists have discovered that women are attracted to men who are fond of children. Well that's not the interesting part ... the interesting part is that they can determine whether men are fond of children or not simply by looking at their faces ! Now that's a thought that makes one feel humble doesn't it :) But on the other hand, they don't appreciate such features in men if they're looking for short term relationships (read: one night stands). Now that's good news for some and bad news for the rest ;)

But an even more interesting discovery was this - another group of scientists have discovered (thank god not the same ones) that Monkeys' drinking patterns (alcohol) have very, in fact almost as similar to that of humans. The various similar trends include :
- They drink more alcohol when they're alone, just like humans
- They like to end a long day in the lab with a good cocktail, just like humans

Damn those lucky monkeys ! :)

A society with a short memory span

2006-05-12T05:21:00.001-07:00

A mute conspirator. That’s exactly what I’d like to call Arjun Singh, the honorable HRD minister. I honestly respect him for his deviance for having dropped a bomb of a hint and then pretending to look helpless because of the Election Commission. Moreover, he conveniently forgets to provide any kind of response on the day he’s supposed to. What ? Does he think that we are some animals who have a short memory span who’ll simply forget ?

Not that he can be blamed really for thinking like that if he does. We, the people, are definitely guilty of having short memory spans many a times. Now I’m not making sweeping statements just like that. The evidence is all around us.
That’s the reason why criminals get elected, the reason why they live freely like any other citizen (but on bail), the reason why cases like Jessica Lal or Chutaliya’s disproportionate assets keep happening again and again in some form or other. It’s simply because we either forget to implicate those responsible, or we forget about the lessons learned. I don’t think I’d be wrong in saying that a lot of cases that come to the attention of the media make a big impact in the beginning, linger on for a while and then just get lost in oblivion.

Some may argue that the short memory span may not be to blame for this. It’s because of the system they’d add. Well I just say its because of the short memory span that the system is able to overshadow in the first place.

Some say ‘learn to go on with life, let go. Forgive. How long can u fight with it after all? It’ll take you down eventually’. Well I just say that if your fight it once and set an example, on top of that if you don’t forget it, such a thing may not happen again.

Song of the moment : Someday – Flipsyde

2006-05-12T05:21:00.000-07:00

Awesome song ! It was chosen as the theme song for some games that happened in Finland i think ... Check out the lyrics:

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

They tellin' me it's all good just wait
You know you're gonna be there someday
Sippin' on Jim Beam ok
Gotta get these things one day
Till then do another line you know
Searching for that other high
Stop or I gotta steal then steal
Kill or I'm gonna be killed
I got a sack in my pocket
Conscious yellin' drop it
You know we're gonna lose it someday
And we tryin' to hold it all together
But the devil is too clever so
I'm gonna die you gonna die we gonna die
Someday one day I said

Someday we gonna rise up on the wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

Try to lie but it ain't me
Ain't me try to look but I can't see
Can't stop right now cause I'm too far
And I can't keep goin' cause it's too hard
In the day in the night it's the same thing
On the field on the block it's the same game
On the real if you stop then it's no pain
But if you can't feel pain then it's no gain
Rearrange and you change and it's all bad
And you try to maintain but you fall back
And you crawl and you slip and you slide down
Wanna make it to the top better start now
So I hold my soul and I die hard
All alone in the night in the graveyard
Someday one day I'm gonna be free
And they won't try to kill me for being me
Hey someday

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

If you know how this is
Gonna see it's not that easy
Don't stop get it till it's done
From where you are or have begun
I said keep on try a little harder
To see everything you need to be
Believe in your dreams
That you see when you're asleep

Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

The Demolition Men shot down

2006-05-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

First of all I’d like to say that I’m really enraged by the bill passed today. I mean here are certain respected men (the judges of the Supreme court) trying to uphold the law and the constitution and what happens ? Well the same in just any other romantic tragedy, the anti-hero gets shot down for standing up for what’s right !

I don’t know much about the legalities but I think the current government should be held in contempt of court.

I mean amongst all the chaos surrounding the demolition drive in the city, what comes up is that thousands of traders will be left stranded. What is generally very conveniently overlooked by everyone including the media is the question that how could have so many people disobeyed the law in the first place, and I’m talking about the same thousands here. I think it’s simply preposterous that such mass-scale fraud could have taken place in the first place. The concerned bodies should simply not be forgiven for that.

But well, what’s done is done and we should not look at the past but think about what can be done. Right. I completely agree with that. Let’s forgive the offenders, after all they’re also families just like mine and yours. But let’s atleast stop it now that we are aware of it! Simply acknowledging the fact that the law has been broken and generously forgiving those responsible still does not cure the problem. That is exactly what the demolition drive was doing. It had identified the problem and was castrating it. Until ofcourse the unwelcome child of democracy – vote bank politics stepped in.

Indeed the politicians, whose vote bank lies in the illiterate small traders, street hawkers, etc wouldn’t bare a chance to get re-elected or gain political mileage if they hadn’t stepped in. So instead of making these people understand why / how they were wrong, and providing relief to them by compensating them somehow in some way, they just used their constitutional muscle and stopped the drive altogether. Why can’t they see the long term repercussions of their actions I fail to understand. It’s all just about getting re-elected the next time.

All I can say is that I really hope that they actually come out with a viable action plan in the one year they’ve stolen. In my crystal bowl, however, the prediction is pretty easy though. At the end of one year, a committee will be set up to investigate into the matter which will come out with a very depleted figure of the number of encroachments. They will then give recommendations which the already incompetent authorities will sit upon and probably get new ways to gobble up some money as well. People like you and I on the other hand, people who struggle to find space or infact air to breathe which should be rightfully ours, will simply eat a hard bullet.

Masti ka Chamata … (oops !) … Chataka !

2006-05-12T05:19:00.000-07:00

There are only two things I’m sure of every year when the summer comes along. First ofcourse are the record breaking temperatures recorded every year and second is a barrage of nonsensical ads on the idiot box let loose by soft drink manufacturers (affectionately called the Cola Wars). And it is the second variety that never fails to amuse me year after year. Some are good I admit, some are even funny, but most of them are simply an assault on your senses.

Let’s start with with a few moderate ones … Do the Dew that is. Mountain dew brings another variation of its ‘adventure enthusiasts’ bunch of guys doing an outrageous stunt like base jumping with a bike off what appears to be the Grand ‘Dew’ Canyon. There’s not much here as they’ve not really toyed around with the idea and have simply played it safe. I really doubt how long they can keep using the same old rug though.

Then there’s Taste the Thunder ! I liked the idea of Akshay Kumar trying to literally ‘capture’ the thunder in a bottle and then tasting it. It’s a decent execution as well with the setting and picture-isation and especially Akshay Kumar sporting a long-haired dude hairdo. But the ad again portrays the same adventure-seeking kind of image. So how is it different from Do-ing the Dew ?

Mallika Sherawat enters the galaxy of stars endorsing soft drinks with 7-Up with Fido literally playing ‘genie in the bottle’. Now this is amongst one of the better ads in originality, idea, execution and communication of the message according to me. The ad is able to pass across the message of a curvy and the coolest drink pretty well.

Finally I think the trophy is taken by Coca – Cola with two classic ads, one starring Aishwarya Rai and the other with Amir Khan. Both the ads have been well executed and are able to captivate the audience. The Aishwarya ad simply by her stunning looks and her charm, while the Amir Khan ad by his great acting prowess. The message may not be as clear as some of the others, but the executions still takes the cake.

But wait ! That’s not all . I forgot to mention the real Winners ! I mean this was all just formalities. The best campaign I still haven’t even mentioned !

Let us start with the runner-up … Pepsi TV !
This is a classic case of ‘peanuts-in-the-end’. A classic case of ‘dig up a mountain to find a mouse’ (a direct Hindi to English translation). It’s simply a classic example of marketers ending up over-promising and then failing to deliver.
The idea was good I don’t deny it. Pepsi wanted people to drink Pepsi at home while watching TV ! ( although where have I heard that before ? … wait … hmm .. does anybody remember the Coca-Cola ad with Amir Khan dressed as a lady ???)
Infact, the first ad was able to create quite a tangible amount of curiosity with the mystery of what exactly Pepsi TV could be. Obviously everyone though it was a new channel that Pepsi was launching. But you can’t promise people something that huge and ‘bubbly’ and hand them a little pipe to suck on to some Pepsi in the end can you ? I mean that should be a criminal offense. Well I don’t have anymore to say in this regard.

And finally … the winner … give it up for … Masti ka Chataka !!! (Fanta)
Now where do I start ? Hmm.. let’s start with the idea which is the birthplace of any great marketing campaign. But wait, I must be stupid to expect anything like that from this ad ! Simply said, the advertisement lacks any kind of a motivation behind it. It’s a part of a rat-race, a race to capture the consumer’s attention … but unfortunately it is very short-sighted.
Ok, nothing lost, so what if there’s not much of an idea behind it. Let’s make the execution great. Right ? Nope, wrong again. With the already existing clutter that bombards people’s senses, the creators of the ad have simple added more clutter. I mean what is it with all those scribbling in the background and the irritating sound effects ? If nothing else they just distract the viewer from the message and make them focus on irrelevant and non-creative (if there’s such a word) things. I don’t think I should start to even mention how stunning ( read ‘horrible’ ) Rani Mukherjee looks.

Well in the end my whole point is that I’m saddened by the fact that a lot of money goes waste in the hands of people lacking a vision who run these things.

I seriously miss those good old days of the real ‘cola wars’ when you’d see the companies trying their best to make a fool of each other. Atleast it was funny.

Planning for the Mecca-s

2006-05-11T09:28:00.000-07:00

My folks just came back and are planning a trip to visit 2 Meccas of the Hindu religion. Namely Vaishno Devi and Jwala Ji. They both have fascinating stories behind them and I’d definitely like to touch upon them once I’m back from the trip (and better acquainted with them).

But what is of more attention right now is the planning and strategizing that goes behind this. The meticulous calculation of the kilometers and the per kilometer rates. The careful revision of the hours and the lodgings. I was a mute spectator to this however. But that’s because my opinion in this matter would not be given a lot of weightage as of now and secondly, and more importantly, I don’t know how to plan a trip !

The former issue doesn’t worry me too much. After all, its just a matter of a year or so when I start living by myself right ? But this very thought, the fact that I’ll be living by myself, coupled with the second issue produces the kind of irritation probably equaled by scratching your nails on a blackboard. Its not an emotion of fear, anxiety or being overwhelmed. Its just irritation. I mean I’ve seen people my age travel 3,300 km alone on a bike to one of the most challenging places in the country like Laddakh. And here I am having gone only as far as Beawar, a non descript village near an equally boring city in Rajasthan. I mean of course I’ve taken the odd trip with friends to hill-stations like Nainital, etc. and I’ve had my share of weed at places like Dharmashala. But the drive for adventure screams inside me, the adrenaline inside begs to rush. It is irritating.

Well to use a cliché, there’s always a first time, and I’m glad mine is coming soon. In September to be precise, when I pack my bags and fly to Warsaw for three months on Exchange to Warsaw School of Economics. I’ve already started ‘googling’ for various trekking opportunities available.

But as for now, I’ll have to be content with Vaishno Devi and Jwala Ji and sit mutely in the passenger’s seat.

DST: Delhi Standard Time

2006-05-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

Found this in the newspaper and found it amusingly accurate so I just had to share it !

It gives examples of complex and variable definitions of time Delhiites live by. I’ll simply quote them from the article.

2 Minutes : This can mean anything from 20 minutes to 2 hours depending on the situation. If you’re at the office and the supplier says “I’m just reaching in 2 minutes”, you have enough time to 1) Have lunch 2) Have a smoke and 3) Finish all your mails.
10 secs : This could be anything from 10 days to 100 years. When someone who owes you money says “drop by any day, I’ll write you a check in 10 seconds’, well best of luck.
5 mins : This means 10 kilometers. For some reason people in Delhi on the road are very shy of telling you how far something is. If you ask “how far?”, they will point and say “5 mins”. Of course what they actually mean is 5 mins by plane and that too a Mach 5 !
1 hour : Now this means 5 minutes. When on the rare occasion you are late and the supplier idiot is waiting for you, he will say “I’ve been waiting here for an hour !”. Hah !
I’m just downstairs : Can mean anywhere. When you call someone who is late and they say “I’m just downstairs”, you think they mean they're in the parking or the driveway but they actually could be anywhere !
2 days : 10 minutes or 10 days depends on who is saying it. If a car mechanic says “this car’s gonna take 2 days to repair”, he actually has 10 minutes of work but he wants to charge you for more. And if a carpenter promises you a bookshelf in 2 days, add 8 more days.
24 hours : Never. Try calling the MTNL guys and when they say they’d come in 24 hours, that’s when you can assume this meaning.

I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed after reading this (for obvious reasons).

God ... and Great Great Grandfathers

2006-05-11T01:12:00.000-07:00

Now I personally don’t believe in god. Like probably most other people of my age and generation, I like to believe in the power of self and refuse to acknowledge a thought that my destiny is controlled by something/ someone other than me.

My mom, on the other hand, is a staunch believer. Although generously sprinkled with moderations of rationality and modernism, her idea of God mostly is, traditional.

Therefore, like expected, she and I constantly have these debates on religion and God. Just yesterday, we started off on the topic of whether god really existed or are these stories merely folklore passed on through generations. I mean I honestly wouldn’t believe in any God (be it of any religion) unless I found some proof that they really existed. Finally there came a point when I told her that all religions are merely based on writing of obscure people in history and concluded that if I would’ve written a book on Tom and Jerry, and if it would’ve caught on, then maybe we’d all be worshipping idols of a mouse and a cat instead !

To this my mother just smiled.

It was one of those warm smiles that wise people give when they know what’s coming. She said “Let me tell you a story … “
A long time ago there was a king (like there is always in those stories). He was a very arrogant king (like most of them are) who didn’t believe anybody else was greater than him (hmm… what’s new!). He heard about this great saint in his land who was giving people great faith in God. Feeling a bit challenged, the king summoned the saint to his palace to explain to him why he thought the saint was wrong.
Later, he was taking a walk with the saint in his palace and came across a hall with portraits of his great lineage. The king, with a chest swollen with pride, proceeded to introduce the pictures on the wall elaborating on how many great battles each one of his ancestors had won. He came to the portrait of his great great grandfather and started rambling about his feats when suddenly the saint spit on the face in the picture.
The king was enraged. He demanded for an explanation when the saint calmly replied back in a question, “How do you know he is you Great Great Grandfather?”. The king explained because his father had told him so. So he asked how his father knew that he was his great grandfather. The king replied because, obviously, his father's father had told his father so. At this the saint concluded that the king had never seen that man in the portrait and it was his belief that he was what he was because of the generations of legends that had passed on.
Similarly, the saint replied, I believe in someone whose legends have been passed on through many generations. Just like you, he told the king, I have faith in that person and wouldn’t appreciate anyone disrespecting him or questioning his existence.

This is the part in the conversation with my mom where I’m supposed to think hard as to how should I reply to that.

Well I’m still thinking … but I’m not giving up ! :)

Testing one two three ...

2006-05-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well I have finally done it ! I was thinking of doin this for quite some time.

A lot has happened in the last couple of months. The ground beneath my feet has literally parted into two completely different textures.

I failed a year at my MBA.

Well for some it may not be as dramatic as I just described it. But for me, it has been a life changing experience.

Why someone may ask ? Why did it happen ?
Well the answer to that is quite simple actually.
I simply did not take it seriously !
I'd cruised through my first year being completely disillusioned by the whole concept of an MBA and I was thinking it'd be just one of those things where the biggest deal is just starting it and the rest will fall in place. But ofcourse, like most things in life, even this was not Free ! Ofcourse this was exaggerated by excess of a few things which I could've done without.

So anywayz, there's ont much point in dwelling in the past. Bygones are Bygones.

Its a new beginning now. I have a chance to undo the damage.

And well that is a picture of me last year. (I uploaded it mainly to put it on my profile)
But come to think about it ... They say that pictures speak a thousand words. Well my story's gonna change a bit, let's see how the picture changes ;)